alhamdulillaahh...alhamdulillaahh banyaaaakkk bgttt..
kata2 itu g abis2nya gue ucapin saat keluar dari pintu ujian lisan terakhir gue.pengenya malemnya langsung update.betapa dan betapa mikirnya gue.betapa nerveousnya gue saat2 menjelang ujian lisan..betapa apa yah,,speechless deh hari2 mendekati ujian lisan..gue cuman butuh keajaiban. ke 'untung' an..karna selain daripada itu,,smua usaha ada di kedua tangan gue.manusia hanya bisa berusaha kata pepatah mungkin...
lo bayangin aja,sehari setelah pengumuman ujian fsp lulus ato engga dan alhamdulillah lulus,,besoknya dong gue dapet jadwal ujian lisan mathe,pagi pula.
o maiiiiii godddddd ._______-'' gue ngrasa g adiiil saat itu. huhuhuu..
tapi..
gue senneng banget..jadi kan yang pertama mengikuti ujian akhir tu namanya fsp macem UN gitu..nilai kita memenuhi g buat ikut ujian ini,nilainya dilihat dari vornote(hasil ulangan2 hrian) kita.kalo mmenuhi nilainya,boleh deh kita ikutan ujian ini..setelah mengikuti ujian fsp ini(sebenarnya g enak bilang "ujan fsp",,soalnya di dalam 'fsp' uda ada kata 'ujian' tp yaudalah ya haha)..abis ikutan ujian fsp kita ini,masih bisa lo gugur.
kata gue,,ujian fsp emg berat si.hmmmh kinda hard.kayak kebanyakan anak tuu dari nilai vornote ke fsp pada turun.tapi ada juga yg naik.karna gue bilang ujian fsp lebih susah dari klausur2,,dan karna nilai vornote dan fsp dipake dalam perhitungan nilai akhir,,
jadi saran gue.. bagusin nilai di klausur(ulangan harian)tiap studkol bisa beda2 kebijakannya..yang jelas ditempat gue seperti ini.. :D
laluuuuuuuww..kalo setelah pengumaman fsp lulus ato engga,,yg g lulus bisa daftar ulang lagi ato wieder(kea gue kemarin) tapi ngulangpun ada beda2.yang jelas peraturan di negara ini buat kita2 orang asing,,2x ikut fsp max.kalo g..bisa disuruh balik ..ke.. kampung halaman..*serem si dengernya*
oyaa,,g lulus fsp itu gmna,,intinya,gara2 satu plajaran aja lo mati, lo bisa ngulang yg lamanya satu semester cuy! gue kemarin,,jatoh di deutsch sama fisika si,hohoo..fsp gue 5 semua :( vornote gue rada ngepas..jadi yah ngulang deh :( itu semester kemarin..kmudiaan,,saya brniat bangkitt!! perbaiki vornote dari nilai2 klausur selagi bisaa!!! hajar fspeee!!alhmdulillah,,nilai klausur2 gue semester ini minimal sama kea semester lalu,,,cuman kebanyakan pada naik smua *alhmdulillah* ada yg engga si.itu tu yang emang paten g bisa gue rubah nilai vornote gue..yang pernah studkol bareng gue ato sempet di ajar sama Herr Rinke ;) itu di plajaran fisika bagian 2... gue uda pasrah mah itu. :'' keanya mo ngulang lagi juga nilai gue bakal sama kalo pelajaran satu ini .scheiß emang ._. makanya miracle bgt bgt 4 ulangan pljaran ini.dan lo jenius klo lo bisa dpt 1 ato 2 bahkan 3. temen gue ada si :'') tebaek dah.
oyaaa.. yang diujikan untuk jurusan gue alias technik it ada deutsch,mate,physik.daaann tiap studkol beda2 juga keputsannya..ada yg ada chemienya gitu buat jurusan anak technik..hehehe dstudkol gue g ada syangnyah..
udahkan sedikit penjelasan tadi,,diumumin lulus fsp ato engga...kalo lulus lanjut ke ujian lisan.nah stk(studkol) gue emang rada aneh ni.
nilai fsp sama vornote dbagi 2 tiap mapelnya,nah kalo jatohnya koma,,plajaran itulah yg diujian lisanin.kalo dr ke3 mapel itu abis dbagi 2 itu genap..brtti 3 plajran utama g ada ujian lisannya..maka yang diujian lisanin pelajaran tambahan(nebenfach)..karna ada beberapa nebenfach,,entah darimana gurunya milih pelajran nebenfach mana yang dikasih ..tiap anak beda2 jelas,,cmn kurang paham gue tergantung apanya,,ada yg bilang kalo nebenfach suka2 gurunya,ada yang bilang nilai nebenfachnya somehow gimana gtu..cuman buat nebenfach,,bagi yang ngulang ato wieder,,selain dia harus ngulang 3 mata pelajaran utama tadi, dia juga harus ngulang nebenfach yang nilainya dibawah 3.kalo 3 keatas,dia uda g usa ikut pljran2 nebenfach.hehe alhmdulillah gue uda befrei yg nebenfach jadi semester ini gue fokus sama 3 hauptfach itu.tapi kalo mau ngulang nebenfach misal yaaa mau perbagus bisa si..cuman gue,,awalnya niatnya mau ngulang semua nebenfach,,cuman makin masuk kelas..makin,,mager mungkin..jdi kea gw mau fokus k hauptfach gitu *alasanmungkin*jdi ya gue ga ngulang nebenfach sama skli hehe..oke cukup :))
ampe mana tdi kan..oke abis yang lulus ikutan ujian lisan tegantung dia dapet mündlich(lisan) *ditambhin kata ''ujian'' ya bacanya* abis mündlich.. selesaaaii dehh!!eeiitts belum deng..
ujian lisan ini juga punya nilai sendiri,jdi entar endingnya tiap mapel itu...vornote(klausur) + fsp + mündlich dbagi 3 itu lah hasil akhir dr tiap mapel ,nah untuk ke3 hauptfach,,kalo g lulus mündlich bisa ikut ujian lagi namanya nachschreibung.nachscreibung ini cuman ada buat mate sama fisika.jdi kalo deutsch mündlichnya g lulus..yaa... E N D : ( alias WI E D E R alias NGULANG..
sadis sih barusan ini...tapi ikutan nachschreibung juga kata gue ga enak..soalnya.. katanya ijazahnya dia dibagiinnya telat.g bebarengan ama anak2 yang ga kena nachschreibung. dan abis nachschreibung juga belum tentu lulus..:'' sadis kan :( klo nilai nachschreibungnya g mati baru lulus,min. 4 nilainya..
okaayhh jdii sprtii ituu.. daan karna nilai nebenfach gue gut,,dan ga gue verbessern lagi kemarin,,gue capek mikir nebenfach wkwkkk..gue mo fokus ama hauptfach gitu kan,,,jdi yahh..nilai akhirnya g begitu si.tp dari itu semua..gue mnsyukuri..di ujian mündlich, gue berusaha gimana hasilnya bisa naik.dan alhamdulillah it works! i made it!!!like thank thank thank Godddd!! hamdullaahh.. :''yaah mau gue push gimana pelajaran utama ini,,kalo ntr ujungnya dtambah sama nilai nebenfach gue yang g begitu menjulang..
yaahh not too bad,but not too good. just 'good'but still i have to thank God. karna gue ngliat anak2 yang lain nilai akhirnya lebih bagus karna kebantu sama nebenfach,, jadi kalo nilai nebenfachnya bgus itu ngebantu bgt si buat endnote(nilai akhir).gue pengen...tpi g usa ngomongin itu,,.tapi bgaimanapun..Ive tried my best! and im so so sure this is the best! ga bole ada yang disesali,, mungkin kalo semester ini gue g fokus ama hauptfach doang,gue ga bakal bisa nyampe nilai hauptfach yang kalo bisa gue bilang vornotenya naik semua(kecuali pelajaran rinke maap) dari semester kemarin(vornote :nilai bbrapa kali ulangan tiap mapel,jdi tiap mapel punya vornote) di ambil hikmahnya aja :'' yang penting sekarang...
heeeyyy,,gue yang kemarin wieder,,si wieder ini uda luluuss dari studienkollegg !! that means,,i have to get ready for the next 'Obstacles' alhamdulilllahh :) setiap kerja keras, gue yakin,,pasti ada hasilnya,,hasilnya apapun itu..pasrahkan diri sepenuhnya sama sang Pencipta :)
btw...happy fasting buat yg menjalankannya!!! :)
Posted in 01.07.2014
Showing posts with label Ceritakehidupanku. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ceritakehidupanku. Show all posts
Monday, December 28, 2015
Monday, November 23, 2015
Why me?Hijab ?
i started wearing hijab since i was in junior high or grade 7.
its actually basically maybe bcz that junior high i used to go was an islamic boarding school..
so they taught me about wearing a hijab for girls is an obligation.its a must.
and..i dont feel uncomfortable with it either..so it continues until in senior high, which is not in islamic boarding school anymore, but an ordinary school,
where in a class,there are boys and girls mixed together,wether you wear a hijab or not..völlig egal. like in my class,there are around 6 or 5 girls including me who were wearing the hijab out of 32 students.
until i finished my senior high,which means i wore my hijab for 6years already(3yeas junor 3 years senior),,
hmm
i never really had it in my heart i guess..i mean,for all this 6 years,,i used to once twice hanging out without my hijab..and there was once too when i was ill at home,some of my friends in senior high came to visit me, and i just didnt wear my hijab even there are some boys came.
eventhough i used to have something like that, i never really have a thought on my mind about..
"Dont you wanna take off your hijab?like really put that thing off of you?"
i guess.. never even once..
and when my decision came for me to choose germany as my next place to study in college,well
at first, what im afraid is not i may take off my hijab,but rather than,,im afraid i cant get along with the language,and the issue bfore that there will be doomsday in 2013 (i now it sounds funny -.- )and germany was kinda place where im not sure,things im kinda afraid concerning religion there.like im going to be the minor one of course :(
thats whats on my mind that time..
a year pass i lived in leipzig germany for studienkolleg,i was the only one wearing hijab in class and i have no feeling like ..
"i cant bear this, im the only one who wear the hijab.there are also middle eastern girls and i bet theyre moslems but they didnt wear one..even my indonesian girl whose i know shes moslem too,she didnt wear it "
nope. i never felt that as a burden,at all.as being the only girl in class who wear the hijab. there was also a time..where the students who came were just boys and the only girl who came,,was just.. me. :''
(actually the class is more of the boys than the girls. its like 10:2 ,maybe bcz i took "technic class")
a year passed..and finally my time to enter college~ came..
im not sure bcz of what i kinda have these thoughts.. but ive already desccribed why i took off my hijab in my previous2 posts back then xD
anyway,, i took off my hijab for a year. like really a year!
how was it? how does it feels like?
well,i feel free for choosing what kinds of clothes i wana wear,
well, i feel free to do anything i want (bcz i dont show em that im "moslem") (its not that im happy with that)
well, i feel that im being normal here,i mean,like most of the people here..
anyway, i can do anything i want without even thinking "no i cant,im wearing hijab."
trust me, a year is REALLY SHORT(or maybe too long to make me realize what i did was wrong)
when i asked that permission to my dad and mom, i never thought that i would make it on my third semester in college. i never had a thinking
"okay,lets try a year without hijab in your college,if you think then mega,you feel no benefit on taking that off,then its your time to wear it again"
my only thinking that time and like what i told my mom and dad was..
"..only until i graduate,only until i finished my study here..let me"
but months of my first time in college, all of the bad feeling mixed in my heart.its where then the following months i wrote in my blog,,that im willing to wear my hijab like really "next semester" which means in semester 2.
new year came,hello 2015! there was a small incident i had its about
"my lame romantic story" its like punch to my face,and to my heart.
BUT, im not sure why..i felt like im not ready enough to wear my hijab again.
whereas in those months(january,february,march) , there was an event that make me feel like
"i guess its time for me to wear it again.." i got it really confusing. untill i had this once and only dream ive ever had (ive posted it also already bfore) its where i cried a lot in my dream.its about a feeling of regret.a great regret. :'( BUT STILL , i just feel like,im not ready enough,,
fine.i wana play more! (not reall that kind of playing -.- ive never been though to a pub)
i guess i was stubborn at that time..but ive already actually said to my housemate that, maybe im goin to wear it again on my semester 3. (its like i already made a deadline,and so i can manage my feeling and all towards it..how to make my feeling ready by the time semester 3 come)
and on the way to semester 3..well, i may say bcz of Eid,
i asked my hijab friend,how could she ended up wearing skirts all day long,since me, im still wearing trousers,jeans. her name is Lia
another friend of mine,named her Otha,,we had a chit chat about exchange semster of praxis semester,where i feel, when that smster came, and i already wore my hijab,,im afraid that no one would accept me. then this sister told me that anyway.. " if you do what God tells you to do, than God will lead you the way,what best for you" this saying is like also from a friend of me before.when she knew me at the very first that im taking off my hijab. still..
i was like "Ouu i cant imagine that.its not fair" so months in smster 2, i had a thought also that " maybe i wont make it this smster 3, my practice semester is on 5th semester anyway.i dont wana do it with my hijab.what if no one accept me just bcz im wearing a hijab?!way no!"
but then i rethink that again.problems came on my second semester.and i kinda blame myself bcz easy, im not wearing my hijab. eventhough there might be no connection at all -.-
im not really sure since on which month i decided to wear my hijab again,but after Eid,i was still not wearing a hijab,but my feeling towards it,is getting bigger.like im going to be cofidennttt soon~
weeks before i had a trip to cologne and spain,,i have a though on my mind,that by the first date of september,im going to wear my hijab again since my semester ticket is valid since first september and there is a picture that needs to be sticked on.and so i sticked that me wearing the hijab.my old photos i still have em xD
even though going to cologne was a day before it, im training myself to wear the hijab to cologne.
trying buildiing my confidence. even though that day,my old semester ticket was me not wearing the hijab :'' (bcz that was the old smster ticket and still valid)
and..yea i went through it.alhamdulillah..
2 day before i started to wear my hijab again,i was crying out loud after magrib pray,the feeling of regret. like i need to face this, "if i didnt take off my hijab,i wouldnt feel this sad.i would have to feel this regret.i shudnt take it off back then,so that i wouldnt have to get throu this feeling,i shoudnt.."
bismillah..
i guess i have no reason for me to stay long this way
my dad,,i guess he do feel way sad,maybe sadder than me
knowing that his child,who he sent to an islamic boarding(even thoug its my own decision)
behave this way..i know he felt a deep regret to himself
no benefit mega?you earn nothing
you just keep being you,
you who dont talk much,and that kinda girl,whose not so confident
so why are you still staying this way?
im not sure when was my happy time..
that year where i took off my hijab, or those years when im on my hijab..
maybe its bcz me who is not so sensitive and cant really choose,
but my friend say that.."you look happier when you were with your hijab"
i was like "i know, rite?"
i know the iman of every person is not constant. it goes up and down,and up and down again and so on.
even myself had a commitment that i wont ever take it off again, i forget sometimes..about that iman.
bcz now, im wearing my hijab, but i feel low.i feel down.
i know, dont judge a person by its look,even i do agree that appereance is important.
but i know,the behavior of someone,can not be connected of what he/she is wearing.
in this term, what im trying to say is that,if you see a hijab girl act what she doesnt suppposed to do,dont blame her hijab,niether her beliefs.
its getting harder now.trying to often wear a hijab in my own house(apartment) and the "me" bfore was like "every housemate is like a family to me,and so regardless there are boys,i still dont wear my hijab"
and now..? maybe bcz my housemate keep wearing her hijab,and i guess i need to practice like her,
but honestly,like really?in my own house? its..hard :') #butimtrying
its not about just wearing it,its about what will you learn next?
so thats why,its not an easy decision as like
"whats so hard wearing a veil?you can just wear it and done"
its not,like that..
its actually basically maybe bcz that junior high i used to go was an islamic boarding school..
so they taught me about wearing a hijab for girls is an obligation.its a must.
and..i dont feel uncomfortable with it either..so it continues until in senior high, which is not in islamic boarding school anymore, but an ordinary school,
where in a class,there are boys and girls mixed together,wether you wear a hijab or not..völlig egal. like in my class,there are around 6 or 5 girls including me who were wearing the hijab out of 32 students.
until i finished my senior high,which means i wore my hijab for 6years already(3yeas junor 3 years senior),,
hmm
i never really had it in my heart i guess..i mean,for all this 6 years,,i used to once twice hanging out without my hijab..and there was once too when i was ill at home,some of my friends in senior high came to visit me, and i just didnt wear my hijab even there are some boys came.
eventhough i used to have something like that, i never really have a thought on my mind about..
"Dont you wanna take off your hijab?like really put that thing off of you?"
i guess.. never even once..
and when my decision came for me to choose germany as my next place to study in college,well
at first, what im afraid is not i may take off my hijab,but rather than,,im afraid i cant get along with the language,and the issue bfore that there will be doomsday in 2013 (i now it sounds funny -.- )and germany was kinda place where im not sure,things im kinda afraid concerning religion there.like im going to be the minor one of course :(
thats whats on my mind that time..
a year pass i lived in leipzig germany for studienkolleg,i was the only one wearing hijab in class and i have no feeling like ..
"i cant bear this, im the only one who wear the hijab.there are also middle eastern girls and i bet theyre moslems but they didnt wear one..even my indonesian girl whose i know shes moslem too,she didnt wear it "
nope. i never felt that as a burden,at all.as being the only girl in class who wear the hijab. there was also a time..where the students who came were just boys and the only girl who came,,was just.. me. :''
(actually the class is more of the boys than the girls. its like 10:2 ,maybe bcz i took "technic class")
a year passed..and finally my time to enter college~ came..
im not sure bcz of what i kinda have these thoughts.. but ive already desccribed why i took off my hijab in my previous2 posts back then xD
anyway,, i took off my hijab for a year. like really a year!
how was it? how does it feels like?
well,i feel free for choosing what kinds of clothes i wana wear,
well, i feel free to do anything i want (bcz i dont show em that im "moslem") (its not that im happy with that)
well, i feel that im being normal here,i mean,like most of the people here..
anyway, i can do anything i want without even thinking "no i cant,im wearing hijab."
trust me, a year is REALLY SHORT(or maybe too long to make me realize what i did was wrong)
when i asked that permission to my dad and mom, i never thought that i would make it on my third semester in college. i never had a thinking
"okay,lets try a year without hijab in your college,if you think then mega,you feel no benefit on taking that off,then its your time to wear it again"
my only thinking that time and like what i told my mom and dad was..
"..only until i graduate,only until i finished my study here..let me"
but months of my first time in college, all of the bad feeling mixed in my heart.its where then the following months i wrote in my blog,,that im willing to wear my hijab like really "next semester" which means in semester 2.
new year came,hello 2015! there was a small incident i had its about
"my lame romantic story" its like punch to my face,and to my heart.
BUT, im not sure why..i felt like im not ready enough to wear my hijab again.
whereas in those months(january,february,march) , there was an event that make me feel like
"i guess its time for me to wear it again.." i got it really confusing. untill i had this once and only dream ive ever had (ive posted it also already bfore) its where i cried a lot in my dream.its about a feeling of regret.a great regret. :'( BUT STILL , i just feel like,im not ready enough,,
fine.i wana play more! (not reall that kind of playing -.- ive never been though to a pub)
i guess i was stubborn at that time..but ive already actually said to my housemate that, maybe im goin to wear it again on my semester 3. (its like i already made a deadline,and so i can manage my feeling and all towards it..how to make my feeling ready by the time semester 3 come)
and on the way to semester 3..well, i may say bcz of Eid,
i asked my hijab friend,how could she ended up wearing skirts all day long,since me, im still wearing trousers,jeans. her name is Lia
another friend of mine,named her Otha,,we had a chit chat about exchange semster of praxis semester,where i feel, when that smster came, and i already wore my hijab,,im afraid that no one would accept me. then this sister told me that anyway.. " if you do what God tells you to do, than God will lead you the way,what best for you" this saying is like also from a friend of me before.when she knew me at the very first that im taking off my hijab. still..
i was like "Ouu i cant imagine that.its not fair" so months in smster 2, i had a thought also that " maybe i wont make it this smster 3, my practice semester is on 5th semester anyway.i dont wana do it with my hijab.what if no one accept me just bcz im wearing a hijab?!way no!"
but then i rethink that again.problems came on my second semester.and i kinda blame myself bcz easy, im not wearing my hijab. eventhough there might be no connection at all -.-
im not really sure since on which month i decided to wear my hijab again,but after Eid,i was still not wearing a hijab,but my feeling towards it,is getting bigger.like im going to be cofidennttt soon~
weeks before i had a trip to cologne and spain,,i have a though on my mind,that by the first date of september,im going to wear my hijab again since my semester ticket is valid since first september and there is a picture that needs to be sticked on.and so i sticked that me wearing the hijab.my old photos i still have em xD
even though going to cologne was a day before it, im training myself to wear the hijab to cologne.
trying buildiing my confidence. even though that day,my old semester ticket was me not wearing the hijab :'' (bcz that was the old smster ticket and still valid)
and..yea i went through it.alhamdulillah..
2 day before i started to wear my hijab again,i was crying out loud after magrib pray,the feeling of regret. like i need to face this, "if i didnt take off my hijab,i wouldnt feel this sad.i would have to feel this regret.i shudnt take it off back then,so that i wouldnt have to get throu this feeling,i shoudnt.."
bismillah..
i guess i have no reason for me to stay long this way
my dad,,i guess he do feel way sad,maybe sadder than me
knowing that his child,who he sent to an islamic boarding(even thoug its my own decision)
behave this way..i know he felt a deep regret to himself
no benefit mega?you earn nothing
you just keep being you,
you who dont talk much,and that kinda girl,whose not so confident
so why are you still staying this way?
im not sure when was my happy time..
that year where i took off my hijab, or those years when im on my hijab..
maybe its bcz me who is not so sensitive and cant really choose,
but my friend say that.."you look happier when you were with your hijab"
i was like "i know, rite?"
i know the iman of every person is not constant. it goes up and down,and up and down again and so on.
even myself had a commitment that i wont ever take it off again, i forget sometimes..about that iman.
bcz now, im wearing my hijab, but i feel low.i feel down.
i know, dont judge a person by its look,even i do agree that appereance is important.
but i know,the behavior of someone,can not be connected of what he/she is wearing.
in this term, what im trying to say is that,if you see a hijab girl act what she doesnt suppposed to do,dont blame her hijab,niether her beliefs.
its getting harder now.trying to often wear a hijab in my own house(apartment) and the "me" bfore was like "every housemate is like a family to me,and so regardless there are boys,i still dont wear my hijab"
and now..? maybe bcz my housemate keep wearing her hijab,and i guess i need to practice like her,
but honestly,like really?in my own house? its..hard :') #butimtrying
its not about just wearing it,its about what will you learn next?
so thats why,its not an easy decision as like
"whats so hard wearing a veil?you can just wear it and done"
its not,like that..
Monday, October 26, 2015
Semester ke-2 ku
mau ngruntutin like how was my life through this semesters passed by..I'm now on my third semester here, but lemme share you what have i been thru on my second semester..back then..
tahun baru 2015..adalah akhir semester satuku dan saatnya lanjut kesemester dua.jurusan gue yg i may say there are bunch of tasks..totally tiresome yet fun :) terlepas dari pelajaran kuliah,,ada satu hal kejadian that i cant ever forget..lemme describe it like this..
ini perang batin.
batinku menahannya sudah terlalu lama sampai aku memutuskan
untuk mengatakanya tanpa harapan dan angan lebih..
aku mengatakanya..
semua perasaan campur aduk
apasih definisi salah dan benar?aku tak mengenalnya
tapi aku mengenal egois
egoislah yg menemaniku
menemaniku hingga diam
tetapi penyesalan tetap saja datang di waktu yang sangat tepat
aku belajar banyak hal.memang seharusnya begitu.tinggal jauh dari keluarga, menimba ilmu sesuai target kelulusan adalah hal yang harus aku utamakan.lebih dari apapun. tapi beriringan pula dengan aku mempelajari hal2 lain.boleh dibilang,sisi lain kehidupan..
there once those time where i was busy doing my assesment,and suddenly he appeared on my mind huhu then silence for an hour .. then continue with my tasks -.- lol
semester dua gue bisa dbilang g begitu fokus,why? bcz..
-->first i need to do a part time job to pay debt and it cost 2 months of my salary :|
-->and second i was doing a traditional indonesian dance..i took part in indonesian event that we'd like to held in July (but then it was canceled due some reasons)
-->and one more thing..is that..we need to move out from our apartment like..okay,there was an accident!not like a car crashing i mean.. so our apartment building is old and i heard the people steps sometimes..stepping the stairs..and sometimes,.theres someone who like to knock at out door like once twice at nite..but it was short.and we sometimes like to hear 2 people shouting but we dont know what they were shouting about and who. and we never tell that to the home owner or we called it here "vermieter" until one day..no, one nite..(thankfuly i wasnt alone at home.i was with my roomate.she was there)
i was doing my normally weekly tasks from college,and my roomate,,im not sure what she was doing. anyway we were busy in our own room..
was it around 10 or 11pm..someone knock at our door..firstly it was short but then it sounds like a mad man who was trying to get in. then we heard like a sound he wants to open our door. shit!we were afraid to death lol.until we opened our window imagining would we really jump off?? lol.
okay we contact our friends to run here and at the very last..we call the cops. okay i shorten the story..anyway..we found that it was our neighbor,a man..and he was drunk.my friend got in chats with him and he smelled an alcohol things..and yea.we cant think that we would sleep at home that nite. we then bring anything we could.as for me my laptop bcz i need to finish the work i havent done yet bcz this shit troublesome -.-
and yea we headed to our friends home.rumah kak ade! well we didnt really than directly sleep. we had a talk with our "brothers" if i may say.. and really..."WE NEED TO MOVE OUT" i dont care if that man(the drunker) said its his first time or anything.but i would not want that to even happend to me TWICE! and what shocked me the most is that,he is the son of our vermieter,the owners son.
oughh i got it if then our vermieter defence her own son since he is her son, but still i need to tell what exactly happend that nite rite?(in our point of view of course) we need to move out immediately but we cant.we must wait until 3 months forward if we want to move out.its already written in the house renting contract and so i went to... i dont know what its called.its a place to help people like us,foreigners to have their rights,i really hope that we could move out as soon as possible.but,, :( the result says that we cant move out bcz it only happends once and its already also wirtten in the contract about the 3 months bfore leaving.so.. yea.. i slept there like one 2 weeks until 2 months later, bcz the last months, we already move out to our new house even we still need to pay the last months of our last house :( (so 3 months counted) i slept the whole time in my friends house :''
it was tiring,it was bothersome.it was panic. i cant imagine what a drunker will do(in a bad way).searching a new home is also not easy,i mean we need to google up,then contacting them,then arranging the time..and so on..and how was my college? hmmm yea anyway..throouuu it!!:''
tahun baru 2015..adalah akhir semester satuku dan saatnya lanjut kesemester dua.jurusan gue yg i may say there are bunch of tasks..totally tiresome yet fun :) terlepas dari pelajaran kuliah,,ada satu hal kejadian that i cant ever forget..lemme describe it like this..
ini perang batin.
batinku menahannya sudah terlalu lama sampai aku memutuskan
untuk mengatakanya tanpa harapan dan angan lebih..
aku mengatakanya..
semua perasaan campur aduk
apasih definisi salah dan benar?aku tak mengenalnya
tapi aku mengenal egois
egoislah yg menemaniku
menemaniku hingga diam
tetapi penyesalan tetap saja datang di waktu yang sangat tepat
aku belajar banyak hal.memang seharusnya begitu.tinggal jauh dari keluarga, menimba ilmu sesuai target kelulusan adalah hal yang harus aku utamakan.lebih dari apapun. tapi beriringan pula dengan aku mempelajari hal2 lain.boleh dibilang,sisi lain kehidupan..
there once those time where i was busy doing my assesment,and suddenly he appeared on my mind huhu then silence for an hour .. then continue with my tasks -.- lol
semester dua gue bisa dbilang g begitu fokus,why? bcz..
-->first i need to do a part time job to pay debt and it cost 2 months of my salary :|
-->and second i was doing a traditional indonesian dance..i took part in indonesian event that we'd like to held in July (but then it was canceled due some reasons)
-->and one more thing..is that..we need to move out from our apartment like..okay,there was an accident!not like a car crashing i mean.. so our apartment building is old and i heard the people steps sometimes..stepping the stairs..and sometimes,.theres someone who like to knock at out door like once twice at nite..but it was short.and we sometimes like to hear 2 people shouting but we dont know what they were shouting about and who. and we never tell that to the home owner or we called it here "vermieter" until one day..no, one nite..(thankfuly i wasnt alone at home.i was with my roomate.she was there)
i was doing my normally weekly tasks from college,and my roomate,,im not sure what she was doing. anyway we were busy in our own room..
was it around 10 or 11pm..someone knock at our door..firstly it was short but then it sounds like a mad man who was trying to get in. then we heard like a sound he wants to open our door. shit!we were afraid to death lol.until we opened our window imagining would we really jump off?? lol.
okay we contact our friends to run here and at the very last..we call the cops. okay i shorten the story..anyway..we found that it was our neighbor,a man..and he was drunk.my friend got in chats with him and he smelled an alcohol things..and yea.we cant think that we would sleep at home that nite. we then bring anything we could.as for me my laptop bcz i need to finish the work i havent done yet bcz this shit troublesome -.-
and yea we headed to our friends home.rumah kak ade! well we didnt really than directly sleep. we had a talk with our "brothers" if i may say.. and really..."WE NEED TO MOVE OUT" i dont care if that man(the drunker) said its his first time or anything.but i would not want that to even happend to me TWICE! and what shocked me the most is that,he is the son of our vermieter,the owners son.
oughh i got it if then our vermieter defence her own son since he is her son, but still i need to tell what exactly happend that nite rite?(in our point of view of course) we need to move out immediately but we cant.we must wait until 3 months forward if we want to move out.its already written in the house renting contract and so i went to... i dont know what its called.its a place to help people like us,foreigners to have their rights,i really hope that we could move out as soon as possible.but,, :( the result says that we cant move out bcz it only happends once and its already also wirtten in the contract about the 3 months bfore leaving.so.. yea.. i slept there like one 2 weeks until 2 months later, bcz the last months, we already move out to our new house even we still need to pay the last months of our last house :( (so 3 months counted) i slept the whole time in my friends house :''
it was tiring,it was bothersome.it was panic. i cant imagine what a drunker will do(in a bad way).searching a new home is also not easy,i mean we need to google up,then contacting them,then arranging the time..and so on..and how was my college? hmmm yea anyway..throouuu it!!:''
Friday, October 9, 2015
satu semester yang berjalan #part4 (that night dream)
this was a dream.
that i never in my life happend.dg sgala pmikiran gue akhir bulan2 ini..gue tdur gue sllu usahain doa..mski dlu smpt rutiiiiinn bgtt ampe yg engga saama skali,,tp skg merutinkan,,jngn klupaan aja...
gue mimpi..jalan crtanya gue agak2 lupa..
kjdian awal yg gue inget adalah gue lgi dimintain tlong sama tmn gue,kea tmn Sma gue sma tmn smp gue..
kea mreka dkejar2 kea rentenir gtula,,kdiannya kea di mall tpi g bgtu rame dan mlm2,,trs gue ngontakin nyokap gue yg trntya lgi karaokean sama sodara mngkin..luppa gue.pkknya rentenirnya berjas hitam bwa pistol ppkokya prsaan dstu deg2an mencekam..tpi mrasa aman karna targetnya bkn gue.
tpi tmn gue si :((trs entah drmna..gue lg liburan diindo tepatnya drumah tante gue dsby lgi pda kumpul kluarga..cmn dstu gue kea uda g pulang berhari2 dan keanya g ada yg nyariin juga..
pagi itu gue dateng aja..masuk pintu sbelah..bkn pintu utama rumah tante...ktmu sama bude saama tante gue yg lain..udah tu mreka lgi ngiris buah ato smacemnya,,kea lagi mo masaklah..trs msuk kruang tamu,,gue salim bokap gue yg lgi ngbrol sama om gue yg gue salamin jg..druang kluarga ada anak2,,yahh sodara2 guelah lgi main ps ato sbansanya,,,gue nyari mamah..
tb2 mamah dateng,,sama tante gue yg punya rumah ini..kea mreka abis ngbrol drmna trs uda slse gtu..gue bilang knyokap ''maahh g nyariin megaa aaapaa..'' sambil sok manja2 gtu.nyokap gue meluk gue,,keanya smpt ngomong tp g bnyak...tp gue lupa apa..mngkin ngebales omongan gue tdi kali ya,,tp gue lupa apa,,,trs udah mamah lewat gtu aja,,gue msuk kamar sodara gue yg dstu ada kakak gue..aduhh gue lupa bilang apa ke kakak gue,,klo g slah dia lgi dipijetin ato tiduran gtu wkwkk,,,dia bilang 'lahhh,,mamah kan uda meninggal meg..' dstu kea,,
gue sndiri gtuuu yg gtaauuu whaaatt???!!!
gue gtau knapa gue gtau. dan ada aapaa.tmpt trakhir dimimpi gue,gue lagi nangis dimakam nyokap gue. dari kakak gue bilang gtu gue uda nangiissss sekenceng2nya gue gtau lagi.lemes.ampe pas mata tebuka,,,mata udah gtau lagi.prasaan kehilanganya wktu udah melek pun masih.lampu kamar gue kan mati ya klo gue tdur,,sangking apa yaa..gue noleh kblakang ada tumpukan gede ampe gue pkir malaikat pncabut nywa :( trnyata gantungan tas2 gue :(gue gemeteran.lama.bner2 prasaan nyokap gue kalo uda g ada..dan dstu ada prsaan penyesalan dgue.jdi wku dmakam..gue bilang,,,kurang lbih,,maaahh mega blm bisa banggain mamahh..
at least mamah harus liat mega make jilbab lagii maahhh.!! :'((nangis ampe kesendat2,ampe mata bisa melek..tmn gue, anak kamar sblah uda manggil2 gue katanya,,tp r2 gue g jawab dia makin horor dg tangisan gue --'' gue dnger ada yg manggil tp,,im waayyy to meratapii kesdihaan gueee hiksss :'(ampe gue akhirnya nyalain lampu,,si rani ngintip,,oh mega uda nyalain lampu,baru dia nyamperin.. hiks..
trs yauda gue dsruh shalat.pas bgt itu udah jam subuh sih.langit blm bgtu terang.gue ambil wudhu msihhh gemetaran.masihhh nangiiisss yallahh...*istigfaarr* lngsung gue chat mamah buat skype. :')abis shalat bru skep,,trs mmah kaget knpaa megaaa kok.. trs yauda gue crtain..hahhaanyokap terharuu huhuhu..
das wars :'miss youu mammaaahh!!
*padahal tdi siang skypean*
Posted in 27.01.2015
that i never in my life happend.dg sgala pmikiran gue akhir bulan2 ini..gue tdur gue sllu usahain doa..mski dlu smpt rutiiiiinn bgtt ampe yg engga saama skali,,tp skg merutinkan,,jngn klupaan aja...
gue mimpi..jalan crtanya gue agak2 lupa..
kjdian awal yg gue inget adalah gue lgi dimintain tlong sama tmn gue,kea tmn Sma gue sma tmn smp gue..
kea mreka dkejar2 kea rentenir gtula,,kdiannya kea di mall tpi g bgtu rame dan mlm2,,trs gue ngontakin nyokap gue yg trntya lgi karaokean sama sodara mngkin..luppa gue.pkknya rentenirnya berjas hitam bwa pistol ppkokya prsaan dstu deg2an mencekam..tpi mrasa aman karna targetnya bkn gue.
tpi tmn gue si :((trs entah drmna..gue lg liburan diindo tepatnya drumah tante gue dsby lgi pda kumpul kluarga..cmn dstu gue kea uda g pulang berhari2 dan keanya g ada yg nyariin juga..
pagi itu gue dateng aja..masuk pintu sbelah..bkn pintu utama rumah tante...ktmu sama bude saama tante gue yg lain..udah tu mreka lgi ngiris buah ato smacemnya,,kea lagi mo masaklah..trs msuk kruang tamu,,gue salim bokap gue yg lgi ngbrol sama om gue yg gue salamin jg..druang kluarga ada anak2,,yahh sodara2 guelah lgi main ps ato sbansanya,,,gue nyari mamah..
tb2 mamah dateng,,sama tante gue yg punya rumah ini..kea mreka abis ngbrol drmna trs uda slse gtu..gue bilang knyokap ''maahh g nyariin megaa aaapaa..'' sambil sok manja2 gtu.nyokap gue meluk gue,,keanya smpt ngomong tp g bnyak...tp gue lupa apa..mngkin ngebales omongan gue tdi kali ya,,tp gue lupa apa,,,trs udah mamah lewat gtu aja,,gue msuk kamar sodara gue yg dstu ada kakak gue..aduhh gue lupa bilang apa ke kakak gue,,klo g slah dia lgi dipijetin ato tiduran gtu wkwkk,,,dia bilang 'lahhh,,mamah kan uda meninggal meg..' dstu kea,,
gue sndiri gtuuu yg gtaauuu whaaatt???!!!
gue gtau knapa gue gtau. dan ada aapaa.tmpt trakhir dimimpi gue,gue lagi nangis dimakam nyokap gue. dari kakak gue bilang gtu gue uda nangiissss sekenceng2nya gue gtau lagi.lemes.ampe pas mata tebuka,,,mata udah gtau lagi.prasaan kehilanganya wktu udah melek pun masih.lampu kamar gue kan mati ya klo gue tdur,,sangking apa yaa..gue noleh kblakang ada tumpukan gede ampe gue pkir malaikat pncabut nywa :( trnyata gantungan tas2 gue :(gue gemeteran.lama.bner2 prasaan nyokap gue kalo uda g ada..dan dstu ada prsaan penyesalan dgue.jdi wku dmakam..gue bilang,,,kurang lbih,,maaahh mega blm bisa banggain mamahh..
at least mamah harus liat mega make jilbab lagii maahhh.!! :'((nangis ampe kesendat2,ampe mata bisa melek..tmn gue, anak kamar sblah uda manggil2 gue katanya,,tp r2 gue g jawab dia makin horor dg tangisan gue --'' gue dnger ada yg manggil tp,,im waayyy to meratapii kesdihaan gueee hiksss :'(ampe gue akhirnya nyalain lampu,,si rani ngintip,,oh mega uda nyalain lampu,baru dia nyamperin.. hiks..
trs yauda gue dsruh shalat.pas bgt itu udah jam subuh sih.langit blm bgtu terang.gue ambil wudhu msihhh gemetaran.masihhh nangiiisss yallahh...*istigfaarr* lngsung gue chat mamah buat skype. :')abis shalat bru skep,,trs mmah kaget knpaa megaaa kok.. trs yauda gue crtain..hahhaanyokap terharuu huhuhu..
das wars :'miss youu mammaaahh!!
*padahal tdi siang skypean*
Posted in 27.01.2015
satu semester yang berjalan #part3
hmpir sminggu yg lalu, gue ngalamin hal yg g prnah gue alamin sblmnya..
never in my life.
dan ini akan slalu gue inget.
jdi akhir2 ini gue ngrsa useless dg gue lepas.rasanya pngn back to gue yg make dlu.
tp rasanya msh blm siap cmn buat make jilbab dkelas yg awalnya gue g make.
pdhal skenario ini udah bkal aku pastiin *kalo dberi umur pnjang*
drpda gue masuk awal kuliah make,,trs tb2 lepas..gue mending awalnya gue masuk g make,,trs make gtu.. jdi yahhh klo mau make lagi sblm lulus s1 yaaa gtu mau g mau..make dikelas then so what si sbenrnya,,huhu..
awal gue lepas emg gue cmn mantepin suatu hati lagi gue bakal make lagi kok.gue lepas g like gue kluar dri agama gue.gue percaya dan cuukup sangat percaya sama agama gue.
tapi saat itu gue gtau kapan kah kira2 itu. gue bhkan blm kkbesit kapan yaaa..kiira2 doang,,
tp stlah brjalanya wktu..well papah si bilang...yahh ampe s1 yaayg pnting akhlaknya..
smpt sihh then iyaa emg mngkin ampe s1 doang.kn emg niatnya awal lepas gtu.
tp bbrpa bulan kmrn,,gue pngn smstr 5 wktu praktikum gue make,,tp trus engga deh..jngn make dlu..
tp btw,,aku jg pngn jalaan2 kea anaak2..kliling eropa..dan gue pribadi,,
sangat amat ingin jikalau saya dberi kesempatan itu,,pngn bgt jalan2nya pas udah make jilbab :(
rasanya g enak aja foto2 dtmpt yg bkal memorable bgt,tp gue g make..oke dsni gue tau gue lepas adalah dosaa dan salah. .__.
tp itu jujur, skg liiat bhkan di fb gue..g ada satupun gue ngluarin albumm photo.krna isinya psti ntr foto2 gue yg g brjilbab.tp emg slain gue meminimalisir fto2 gue yg g make d fb,,emg g bnyak foto yg bisa dijadiin album sih..pdhal bnyak momen kea tahun baru,trs jalan2 dbrmen...bnyak..
dulu wktu dleipzig,,paling doyan gue bkin album..isinya acara2 kita2 hahhaa bahagiaa deh.bisa ngepost apa yg lgi kita lakuin sama tmn2..share kbahagiaan a.k.a pamer hhaha engga si g juga :''
trs sbulan kmrn,,iya bulan desember,,wktu gue ngepost something dbuland desember..saat2 itu gue mikir,,apa smstr dpn aja kali ya..tp trlalu cpt.ha? lebih cpt lebih baik .__.
oke.hmm,,smpe skg,,trnyta gue blm brani buat make dsemester 2 ini ntr.. hmm
dtambah lagi bbrapa mnggu kmrn,,alumni assalaam mau reunian kn yg djerman..wacana si maret katanya.gue makin bingung..
gue berpemikiran..
g bgt gue doang yg g pke jilbab pasti..
yauda pakelah..
yakali.make pas acara itu doang abis itu lepas?
noooo waay no. ._.
jdi gue hrus nyiapin diri sampe hri itu dtng dmna gue juga hrus uda siap mental dan fisik gue.bahwa gue g jdi abis s1, tp smstr 2. *lbih cpt lbh baik*
tpi skg yg ada dpmikiran gue..
yaudah..gpp deh.hri itu gue bakal make mskpun g ada yg nyuruh..ya kalee..
gue bakal make,,tp as like pergi ke pengajian..iya.buat smntara gtu.
gue g pngn foto2 sam mreka dan gue g make.itu suatu momen.karna itu suatu momen.
iya.lagi2 gue gengsi.
gue g suka ya sama mreka yg gonta gnti foto g make,abis tu make,,mreka tu makee g siii?? lepas lepas ajaaa -..-
tp trnyata gue,,yah krna gue lepas,emang..yaa gue malah munak klo ttp majang foto yg make gtu kan.
tp terkadang,,,trnyata gue kangen sama foto gue yg make jilbab..
dlu tu dsmua sosmed pke jilbab..dan gue rasa wajar gue punya prsaan pngn majang yg g make jilbab tpi dimanaaa.. -..- cuman satu.yaitu skype.:') cmn isinya kluarga dn tmn2 cwe,,haha.
tp seiring brjalanya waktu,,,ada gebetan daaan yaahh majangnya pas dia offline :) agak susah --'' smpt gue merken dia olnya klo weekend.trs tp gue klupaan blm ganti dp. eehh dia nanyaa itu guee yg g makee ato apaa gtu..trs gue ngelak :' huhu hhehewww :''
oya intronya panjang bgt,,kjadian yg mau gue critain diatas tadi aadalah,,,
Posted in 27.01.2015
dan ini akan slalu gue inget.
jdi akhir2 ini gue ngrsa useless dg gue lepas.rasanya pngn back to gue yg make dlu.
tp rasanya msh blm siap cmn buat make jilbab dkelas yg awalnya gue g make.
pdhal skenario ini udah bkal aku pastiin *kalo dberi umur pnjang*
drpda gue masuk awal kuliah make,,trs tb2 lepas..gue mending awalnya gue masuk g make,,trs make gtu.. jdi yahhh klo mau make lagi sblm lulus s1 yaaa gtu mau g mau..make dikelas then so what si sbenrnya,,huhu..
awal gue lepas emg gue cmn mantepin suatu hati lagi gue bakal make lagi kok.gue lepas g like gue kluar dri agama gue.gue percaya dan cuukup sangat percaya sama agama gue.
tapi saat itu gue gtau kapan kah kira2 itu. gue bhkan blm kkbesit kapan yaaa..kiira2 doang,,
tp stlah brjalanya wktu..well papah si bilang...yahh ampe s1 yaayg pnting akhlaknya..
smpt sihh then iyaa emg mngkin ampe s1 doang.kn emg niatnya awal lepas gtu.
tp bbrpa bulan kmrn,,gue pngn smstr 5 wktu praktikum gue make,,tp trus engga deh..jngn make dlu..
tp btw,,aku jg pngn jalaan2 kea anaak2..kliling eropa..dan gue pribadi,,
sangat amat ingin jikalau saya dberi kesempatan itu,,pngn bgt jalan2nya pas udah make jilbab :(
rasanya g enak aja foto2 dtmpt yg bkal memorable bgt,tp gue g make..oke dsni gue tau gue lepas adalah dosaa dan salah. .__.
tp itu jujur, skg liiat bhkan di fb gue..g ada satupun gue ngluarin albumm photo.krna isinya psti ntr foto2 gue yg g brjilbab.tp emg slain gue meminimalisir fto2 gue yg g make d fb,,emg g bnyak foto yg bisa dijadiin album sih..pdhal bnyak momen kea tahun baru,trs jalan2 dbrmen...bnyak..
dulu wktu dleipzig,,paling doyan gue bkin album..isinya acara2 kita2 hahhaa bahagiaa deh.bisa ngepost apa yg lgi kita lakuin sama tmn2..share kbahagiaan a.k.a pamer hhaha engga si g juga :''
trs sbulan kmrn,,iya bulan desember,,wktu gue ngepost something dbuland desember..saat2 itu gue mikir,,apa smstr dpn aja kali ya..tp trlalu cpt.ha? lebih cpt lebih baik .__.
oke.hmm,,smpe skg,,trnyta gue blm brani buat make dsemester 2 ini ntr.. hmm
dtambah lagi bbrapa mnggu kmrn,,alumni assalaam mau reunian kn yg djerman..wacana si maret katanya.gue makin bingung..
gue berpemikiran..
g bgt gue doang yg g pke jilbab pasti..
yauda pakelah..
yakali.make pas acara itu doang abis itu lepas?
noooo waay no. ._.
jdi gue hrus nyiapin diri sampe hri itu dtng dmna gue juga hrus uda siap mental dan fisik gue.bahwa gue g jdi abis s1, tp smstr 2. *lbih cpt lbh baik*
tpi skg yg ada dpmikiran gue..
yaudah..gpp deh.hri itu gue bakal make mskpun g ada yg nyuruh..ya kalee..
gue bakal make,,tp as like pergi ke pengajian..iya.buat smntara gtu.
gue g pngn foto2 sam mreka dan gue g make.itu suatu momen.karna itu suatu momen.
iya.lagi2 gue gengsi.
gue g suka ya sama mreka yg gonta gnti foto g make,abis tu make,,mreka tu makee g siii?? lepas lepas ajaaa -..-
tp trnyata gue,,yah krna gue lepas,emang..yaa gue malah munak klo ttp majang foto yg make gtu kan.
tp terkadang,,,trnyata gue kangen sama foto gue yg make jilbab..
dlu tu dsmua sosmed pke jilbab..dan gue rasa wajar gue punya prsaan pngn majang yg g make jilbab tpi dimanaaa.. -..- cuman satu.yaitu skype.:') cmn isinya kluarga dn tmn2 cwe,,haha.
tp seiring brjalanya waktu,,,ada gebetan daaan yaahh majangnya pas dia offline :) agak susah --'' smpt gue merken dia olnya klo weekend.trs tp gue klupaan blm ganti dp. eehh dia nanyaa itu guee yg g makee ato apaa gtu..trs gue ngelak :' huhu hhehewww :''
oya intronya panjang bgt,,kjadian yg mau gue critain diatas tadi aadalah,,,
Posted in 27.01.2015
satu semester yang berjalan #part2
waktu awal2 kuliah,,
i was in a big mess.
kuliah gue, jurusan gue yg emg bener bhwa kita banyaakk tugaas..
minggu prtma ada tugas mskipun g wajib si..
mnggu kdua uda mulai plajaran.dan sejak saat itu kita hrus ngmpulin tugas tiap minggu.
ada 2 plajaran yg tiap mnggu kita kumpulin tugasnya!
dan smua memakai PC ato lptop.daan gue blm punya lptop,kmrn abis jual laptop tanpa spngthuan ortu,dan dmarahin.dan tpi skg uda tau ._.
daann ,,kita masih nebeng rumah tmn.ooke.sbulan kita blm dpt rumah sndiri!
2mingguan gue stress hrus minjem leptop tmn buat ngrjain tugas.
kerumah tmn minta ajarin buat ngerjain tugasnya dan pake lptop tmn..
daan steruusnyaa gue stress ditambah sama visa gue!
bulan pertama gue depressed.
saat itu untuk yg prtama kalinya gue ada pmikiran buat pulang abis,ato balik k indo aja!!
tugas kuliah,laptop,rumah,dan yg terakhir visa, bner2 bkin gue nangis ampe kea orang gila.
mukena umbel dimana2.
gue nangisin tugas yg gue g ngerti sama skali jadinya harus diapain. rumah yng tiap besichtigung g klop. giliran kita klop,kita lgi nyiapin dokumen2 kita,mreka g nrima kita, dphp in sama agency apartmenya. dan tibalah urusan visa gue,,visa gue minggu dpn mati,tp gue blm dpt rumah juga!
jdi kan klo mo perpanjang visa hrus daftar rumah dlu.daftar rumah dlu brrti hrus punya rumah dulu.
rumah a.k.a apartment apalah itu.kos2an or whatever.tmpt tinggal.nah tu.
smnggu uda lewat, bbrpa hri lgi visa gue abis daaan msh blm dpt rumah.
lo bayangin tiap hri tu g ada hari tanpa nelfonin iklan2 rumah,telp sana sini.email sana sini.
bkin janji sgala mcem.hanya demi rumah.
dan lusaa visa gue udah mati ini gue gimanaa!!! bisa emg c/o punya tmn.cmn rumah tmn dsni gue g yakin siapa yg bisa di c/o in.. rumah tmn gue yg gue tebengin aja uda crta dluann,g bisa di c/o in sbnrnya..tp krna mlihat gue yg merana skali..yaa dicoba..dapet deh bukti daftar rumah.alhmdulillah.
gue ngadep kekantor,,,karna masih c/o kan,,gue dksih slembar krtas buat ganttiin visa gue yg uda abis dan brlaku ampe novemer awal,jdi wjtu itu awal okt visa gue abis. jdi slama itu passpor gue dtahan ampe gue nglngkapin berkas.gampang si brkasnya cnm foto,bawa duit sama dftr bukti rumah yg sndiri.
udah tuh smnggu berlalu,,kita(gue rani) crtanya diusir sama tmn srumahnya tmn gue. satu2nya tmn yg biisa diharepin adalaah tmn kita yg tinggal dikota lain bernama bremen (30mnitan) .rumah cwo si tpi apa daya .__. sminggu tinggal dsana, alhmdulillah dpt rumah mnggu dpnnya lngsung dpt kunci.
balik deh kbremerhaven..
dan stlah itu,,mslah lptop..gw g bisa nutupin lgi.rencana awal yg png nabung sndiri buat bli lptop gagal. g aada duit --'' akhirnya crta ke mamah dibbm.dmarahin sgaala mcem,,yodah dkirimin duit buat lptop.
alhmdulilllah uda dpt rumah dan laptop pemirsa..
tp kklo mo dflashbackin yg dr wktu blm dpt rumah sgala mcem..masala numpuk,,aku bner2 stress.
ampe akhirnya tmn yg dbremen yg gue tumpang..dngerin sgala crta gue.gue takut visa gue mati dan g dpt rumah..shari sblm visa gue mati dan keadaan blm dpt rumah tu,rasanya,,yallaaah g fokus sama kuliah bahkan! satu nasehat dia yg ampe skg msh dan bkal gue inget adlah..
curhat sma yg diatas.kluarin smuanya saama yg diatas.jngn lupa dzikir buat ingt2 yg diatas.mgnkin yg diatas lagi rindu sama kamu,..trs dia ngucapin yang..
''fainnamaal usri yusro,inna maal usri yusro,,sesunggunya bersama kesulitan,ada kmudahan''
krng lbih gtu hhehe..dan smnjak saat itu,,emg gue dlu jrang dzikir abis shalat mah bacaan pndek trs doa..hehe..tp smnjak itu,abis shalat gue sllu usahain dzikir..keanya orng2 pda lama duduk abis shalat si pda dzikir kali yaak :) gue mah,,doanya yg lama :D *minta banyak usaha dikit* :(
Posted in 27.01.2015
i was in a big mess.
kuliah gue, jurusan gue yg emg bener bhwa kita banyaakk tugaas..
minggu prtma ada tugas mskipun g wajib si..
mnggu kdua uda mulai plajaran.dan sejak saat itu kita hrus ngmpulin tugas tiap minggu.
ada 2 plajaran yg tiap mnggu kita kumpulin tugasnya!
dan smua memakai PC ato lptop.daan gue blm punya lptop,kmrn abis jual laptop tanpa spngthuan ortu,dan dmarahin.dan tpi skg uda tau ._.
daann ,,kita masih nebeng rumah tmn.ooke.sbulan kita blm dpt rumah sndiri!
2mingguan gue stress hrus minjem leptop tmn buat ngrjain tugas.
kerumah tmn minta ajarin buat ngerjain tugasnya dan pake lptop tmn..
daan steruusnyaa gue stress ditambah sama visa gue!
bulan pertama gue depressed.
saat itu untuk yg prtama kalinya gue ada pmikiran buat pulang abis,ato balik k indo aja!!
tugas kuliah,laptop,rumah,dan yg terakhir visa, bner2 bkin gue nangis ampe kea orang gila.
mukena umbel dimana2.
gue nangisin tugas yg gue g ngerti sama skali jadinya harus diapain. rumah yng tiap besichtigung g klop. giliran kita klop,kita lgi nyiapin dokumen2 kita,mreka g nrima kita, dphp in sama agency apartmenya. dan tibalah urusan visa gue,,visa gue minggu dpn mati,tp gue blm dpt rumah juga!
jdi kan klo mo perpanjang visa hrus daftar rumah dlu.daftar rumah dlu brrti hrus punya rumah dulu.
rumah a.k.a apartment apalah itu.kos2an or whatever.tmpt tinggal.nah tu.
smnggu uda lewat, bbrpa hri lgi visa gue abis daaan msh blm dpt rumah.
lo bayangin tiap hri tu g ada hari tanpa nelfonin iklan2 rumah,telp sana sini.email sana sini.
bkin janji sgala mcem.hanya demi rumah.
dan lusaa visa gue udah mati ini gue gimanaa!!! bisa emg c/o punya tmn.cmn rumah tmn dsni gue g yakin siapa yg bisa di c/o in.. rumah tmn gue yg gue tebengin aja uda crta dluann,g bisa di c/o in sbnrnya..tp krna mlihat gue yg merana skali..yaa dicoba..dapet deh bukti daftar rumah.alhmdulillah.
gue ngadep kekantor,,,karna masih c/o kan,,gue dksih slembar krtas buat ganttiin visa gue yg uda abis dan brlaku ampe novemer awal,jdi wjtu itu awal okt visa gue abis. jdi slama itu passpor gue dtahan ampe gue nglngkapin berkas.gampang si brkasnya cnm foto,bawa duit sama dftr bukti rumah yg sndiri.
udah tuh smnggu berlalu,,kita(gue rani) crtanya diusir sama tmn srumahnya tmn gue. satu2nya tmn yg biisa diharepin adalaah tmn kita yg tinggal dikota lain bernama bremen (30mnitan) .rumah cwo si tpi apa daya .__. sminggu tinggal dsana, alhmdulillah dpt rumah mnggu dpnnya lngsung dpt kunci.
balik deh kbremerhaven..
dan stlah itu,,mslah lptop..gw g bisa nutupin lgi.rencana awal yg png nabung sndiri buat bli lptop gagal. g aada duit --'' akhirnya crta ke mamah dibbm.dmarahin sgaala mcem,,yodah dkirimin duit buat lptop.
alhmdulilllah uda dpt rumah dan laptop pemirsa..
tp kklo mo dflashbackin yg dr wktu blm dpt rumah sgala mcem..masala numpuk,,aku bner2 stress.
ampe akhirnya tmn yg dbremen yg gue tumpang..dngerin sgala crta gue.gue takut visa gue mati dan g dpt rumah..shari sblm visa gue mati dan keadaan blm dpt rumah tu,rasanya,,yallaaah g fokus sama kuliah bahkan! satu nasehat dia yg ampe skg msh dan bkal gue inget adlah..
curhat sma yg diatas.kluarin smuanya saama yg diatas.jngn lupa dzikir buat ingt2 yg diatas.mgnkin yg diatas lagi rindu sama kamu,..trs dia ngucapin yang..
''fainnamaal usri yusro,inna maal usri yusro,,sesunggunya bersama kesulitan,ada kmudahan''
krng lbih gtu hhehe..dan smnjak saat itu,,emg gue dlu jrang dzikir abis shalat mah bacaan pndek trs doa..hehe..tp smnjak itu,abis shalat gue sllu usahain dzikir..keanya orng2 pda lama duduk abis shalat si pda dzikir kali yaak :) gue mah,,doanya yg lama :D *minta banyak usaha dikit* :(
Posted in 27.01.2015
satu semester yang berjalan #part1
trs skg udah tau kan,,youre not being yourself me,,knapa g make aja skg lagi?
toh jg lo tau kan, siap2 g siap sbrnya kita memang sudah diwajibkan buat make sbgai perempuan.
hmm..engga, emg diwajibkan.iya,aku berdosa.manusia tmptnya dosa.dan aku menambah dosa, stiap kali keluar rumah, ok.ada tmn yg bilang ' gw yakin me,lo pasti bakal make lagi dlm wktu dkt'entah dia ngibul ato pngn menguatkan guee..hoho...anyway amiiin,gue biismillahh saat gue mulai persiapan pindah kota buat melanjutkan kuliaah dari kmrn yg baru lulus studkol.gue bismillah masang foto gue yg g make di semesterticket gue.hari pertama masuk kuliah adalah hari penyambutan mahasiswa baru tanggal 29sept kmrn.tanggal 26 septnya,tepat hri gue ultah hwhehe.g ada spesial2nya dhari itu selo lah hhuhu.hari ultah gue,,sebut saja gue apes.jadi hari itu gue dan 2 tmn gue lagi naik mitfahr(nebeng mobil orang tapi bayar) buat balik keleipzig buat ngurus kerdus2 yg mau dkirim kekota baru ceritanya.dperjalanan kita istirahat dijalan.gue pipis tuh..waktu buang air kecil,, gue ngrsa ada koin gue yg jatoh.tp gue liat g ada.keanya kefluss kali ya.yaudaahh mana itu duit tmn gue 2€ kalo gsalah.trs wktu balik ke mobil,,gue crtta koinya jatoh kefluss keanya..trs sambil masukin tangan kekantong jaket,,btw semesterticket gue...aaa!!! gue nyari dikantong celana jg g ada.fix ikutan kefluss ama koinya keanya -..- allaaah deeh apessnyaaakk..semesterticket gue ilang,,brrti transportasi buat balik ke kbremerhaven(kota kampus gue) bakal lebih mahaaaaall aaaa!!!!!yauda tepaksa beli tiker dobel deh jadinya wktu balik k kota kampus gue ini.aaahh gue bete bgt sumpah.. orang blm pelajaran dmulaai,kulliah belom dmulai.semesterticket udah ilang aja!trs wktu ot balik k bremerhaven nih,sama tmn2,,wktu dikreta..ada tmnyaa tmn gue..bilang..klo smstrtiket,,dikotanya doi bayar lgi klo g salah.bayar setengah si..astagaaaaaaaaaaaaa *istigfaaarr* *ngumpat* *istigfrlagi* teteep ajaa baayaaar aaaaaaaaaa!!!! dan katanya jadinya bbrpa hri,,--''jadi balik kbremerhaven dg prsaan syedih yg berkepanjangan,,sampelah hari H tanggal 29sept..hri itu juga gue kekantor buat bkin smsterticket.alhmdulillaahhnyaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....langsung jadi dan g bayar!!udah tuh.kluar kantor.duduk2 di bangku,sambil ngliatin kertasnya.jdi dikerts itu ntr dsobek jadi semestertiket gtu abis nempelin foto. nah,, gue liatin itu kertas,yallaah alhmdulillah bgt..tp btw wktu gue dleipzig,yg abis kehilangan tiket itu,,gue tiba2 kebesit...suatu pemikiran..apa Allah pngn aku masang foto aku yg make? apa Allah ngasi aku kesempatan lagi buat hmm..mikir2 lagi gtu dg kputusanku? entahlah.gue g mkir panjang.yaudah gtu aja.wktu dpt tiket g baru,,gue ttp msang fto yg g make endlingnya,,dan klian tu? tiket gue g ilang ketelen air, tpi jatoh djalan mngkin swaktu gue otw toilet ato kluar toilet..dtemuin orang, dan dia ngchat gue d fb buat ngmbaliin tiket gue itu,jdi gue puny dua tiket nuat smster ini hoho *g pennting* tpi wktu gue buka chattnya,itu chat lama yg g blm prnah gue baca. jdi gue tau chat itu bbrpaa bulan stlahnya gtu deh.huhu.smpt tu kan lnsgung gue bales abis tau ada chat gtu.trs kata dia uda ilang gr2 uda lama kan. gpp si sbnrnya klo ilang jg..tp dstu g cmn ada smstrtket gue, tpi ada kartu gue yg lain yg make jilbab :')mskpun kartunya pda uda g pnting smua,uda g kpake smua,,tp gue sayang ama krtunya :')ehh dbales lg sama orangnya,katanya dia ktemu.trs yauda deh dbalikin.baik bgt pokoknya orangnya.
Posted in 27.01.2015
toh jg lo tau kan, siap2 g siap sbrnya kita memang sudah diwajibkan buat make sbgai perempuan.
hmm..engga, emg diwajibkan.iya,aku berdosa.manusia tmptnya dosa.dan aku menambah dosa, stiap kali keluar rumah, ok.ada tmn yg bilang ' gw yakin me,lo pasti bakal make lagi dlm wktu dkt'entah dia ngibul ato pngn menguatkan guee..hoho...anyway amiiin,gue biismillahh saat gue mulai persiapan pindah kota buat melanjutkan kuliaah dari kmrn yg baru lulus studkol.gue bismillah masang foto gue yg g make di semesterticket gue.hari pertama masuk kuliah adalah hari penyambutan mahasiswa baru tanggal 29sept kmrn.tanggal 26 septnya,tepat hri gue ultah hwhehe.g ada spesial2nya dhari itu selo lah hhuhu.hari ultah gue,,sebut saja gue apes.jadi hari itu gue dan 2 tmn gue lagi naik mitfahr(nebeng mobil orang tapi bayar) buat balik keleipzig buat ngurus kerdus2 yg mau dkirim kekota baru ceritanya.dperjalanan kita istirahat dijalan.gue pipis tuh..waktu buang air kecil,, gue ngrsa ada koin gue yg jatoh.tp gue liat g ada.keanya kefluss kali ya.yaudaahh mana itu duit tmn gue 2€ kalo gsalah.trs wktu balik ke mobil,,gue crtta koinya jatoh kefluss keanya..trs sambil masukin tangan kekantong jaket,,btw semesterticket gue...aaa!!! gue nyari dikantong celana jg g ada.fix ikutan kefluss ama koinya keanya -..- allaaah deeh apessnyaaakk..semesterticket gue ilang,,brrti transportasi buat balik ke kbremerhaven(kota kampus gue) bakal lebih mahaaaaall aaaa!!!!!yauda tepaksa beli tiker dobel deh jadinya wktu balik k kota kampus gue ini.aaahh gue bete bgt sumpah.. orang blm pelajaran dmulaai,kulliah belom dmulai.semesterticket udah ilang aja!trs wktu ot balik k bremerhaven nih,sama tmn2,,wktu dikreta..ada tmnyaa tmn gue..bilang..klo smstrtiket,,dikotanya doi bayar lgi klo g salah.bayar setengah si..astagaaaaaaaaaaaaa *istigfaaarr* *ngumpat* *istigfrlagi* teteep ajaa baayaaar aaaaaaaaaa!!!! dan katanya jadinya bbrpa hri,,--''jadi balik kbremerhaven dg prsaan syedih yg berkepanjangan,,sampelah hari H tanggal 29sept..hri itu juga gue kekantor buat bkin smsterticket.alhmdulillaahhnyaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....langsung jadi dan g bayar!!udah tuh.kluar kantor.duduk2 di bangku,sambil ngliatin kertasnya.jdi dikerts itu ntr dsobek jadi semestertiket gtu abis nempelin foto. nah,, gue liatin itu kertas,yallaah alhmdulillah bgt..tp btw wktu gue dleipzig,yg abis kehilangan tiket itu,,gue tiba2 kebesit...suatu pemikiran..apa Allah pngn aku masang foto aku yg make? apa Allah ngasi aku kesempatan lagi buat hmm..mikir2 lagi gtu dg kputusanku? entahlah.gue g mkir panjang.yaudah gtu aja.wktu dpt tiket g baru,,gue ttp msang fto yg g make endlingnya,,dan klian tu? tiket gue g ilang ketelen air, tpi jatoh djalan mngkin swaktu gue otw toilet ato kluar toilet..dtemuin orang, dan dia ngchat gue d fb buat ngmbaliin tiket gue itu,jdi gue puny dua tiket nuat smster ini hoho *g pennting* tpi wktu gue buka chattnya,itu chat lama yg g blm prnah gue baca. jdi gue tau chat itu bbrpaa bulan stlahnya gtu deh.huhu.smpt tu kan lnsgung gue bales abis tau ada chat gtu.trs kata dia uda ilang gr2 uda lama kan. gpp si sbnrnya klo ilang jg..tp dstu g cmn ada smstrtket gue, tpi ada kartu gue yg lain yg make jilbab :')mskpun kartunya pda uda g pnting smua,uda g kpake smua,,tp gue sayang ama krtunya :')ehh dbales lg sama orangnya,katanya dia ktemu.trs yauda deh dbalikin.baik bgt pokoknya orangnya.
Posted in 27.01.2015
After June comes September #part5
skg dmana gue bakal ngekomentaaarrr..
gue lepas.gue make. gue g minta dikomentar how do i look! okay?!ada yg bilang gue cantik makeada yg bilang gue cantik kalo g make
you know what? i dont need those words! btw,kalo diinget2,,gue bhkan g prnah nanya ke siapa gtu bhkan tmn dkt gue sndiri buat nanyain'mnurut lo gue pantes make ato engga?'gtau ya,gue lupa mngkin.tp sejauuh dan seinget gue,,never gtu,bhkan jujur gue g suka kalo ada yg bilang gtu.kalo ditanya skg bnyakan mana yg bilang,,banyakan yg bilangg gue cantikan make gtu..BUT really,honestly, gue g butuuh ituu.dan gue uda cuukup pede kalo ngmongin soal muka gue.cantikan yg mana.gue pribadii,,yaaahh cantik dua2nya mskpun bnyak yg lbih cantik hahahaa.bodo amat.tp srius,cmn gini,ada kalanya gue jelek saat make,ada kalanya gue jelek saat g make, mnurut gue orang gtu wajar ya.dan buat perkuliahaan,,keanya gue lbih milih mnding terlihat jelek saat g make drpdasaat make. bkn brrti yg jelek pas make itu lebih buruk drpda yg jelek wktu g make.lagi2,,apa ya namanya,kalo dipost yg td gue bilang gengsi kali?jadi tu,klo gue make jilbab,,i dont know,gue slalu mrsa ingin dan harus cantik,versi guegitu :'Dntr pas buru2 kkampus g smppt bebenah,ato pulang larut malam,emgg sii g ada yg ngliatin --''keanya lbih gmpangan yg g make si,,menurutt guee ._.mending kalian komentarin baju gue spatu gue,,demii deh!! .__.
terus, ada tmn gue nebak gue lepas gegara cwo.omaigod. actually, gue gtau mau jelasinya drmna.entah dia iseng or what. i mean,,rasa2nya tuh kalian pengen bgt gue jawab alasan gue lepas tuh kea..''guee lepass karna gue ngrsaa gue lebih cantiik kalo lepas,,teruuss bisa dkt ama bulee deh.lumayaann kaan dpt kenalan cwo bule.mau ntr jadian ato engga.paling g ada Pdkt laah...''apaalagi??!
huh.emg dbilang make jilbab itu biisa lebih ngejagain elo. emg it really is what it said in Quran haditz gtu kan.tapi emg mata klian blm prnah liat? blm pernah dnger? cwe jilbaban bnyaaak skg yg luarnya doang!diindo si ,,bhkan klo boleh sombong,im way better than those yg abal jilbabanya.g deng manusia g ada yg boleh sombong.sombong hanya milik Allah semata :'' :( *istigfaar*dan gue ngrsa gue uda bisa ckup jaga diri. dan emg slama gue make jilbab, mngkin gue g sadar ato gmna,,tp gue keanya g prnah ada kjdian smcam 'gue terselamatkan krna gue make jilbab,alhmdulillah..' bkn brrti gue make jilbab trs g bersyukur kagaa. gue bersyukur gue g k tmpt2 kea gtu. dan smacemnya..cmn emg g prnah aja dan kbtulan tmn2 gue anaknya insyallah bener smua :)tpi baru kjdian si bbrpa bulan yg lalu,mngkin krna sblmnya gue g prnah skalipun ditawarin bir,dan dstu gue gagal bela diri.baru kjadian kmrn si huhu.. oke,itu gue crtain ntr,mngkin emg krna gue make jilbab jdi g ada yg ngajakin, tp hellooww,,emg g ad apa kmungkinan gue dihasuutt?? udah lepas ajaa skali ini,ayoo ke sanaa.. balbalaa..alhmdulillahnya si never in my life.ohh doch sekali seumur hidup.that was the first and i hope the last. yyaah gue beteman dg tmn2 yg yaahh gtu.g neko2,,
gue kuliah dikota gue yg skg jg slah satunya gue pribadi pngn ngekeep satu tmn yg bener.
alhmdulillah kalo dia make jilbab bahkan. namanya Rani. mskipun rani kompor gue kuliah dkota yg sama trs biar bisa ntr tinggaal bareng, gue sndiri jg pda dasarnya gue butuh dia nih.someone yg pasti bakal bisa ngingetin gue kejalan yg lbih baik lah intinya.jdi rasanya pnya anak rumah dia,,
yaaa gue bersyukur bgt.bukan kbtulan jg.tp emg dr awal gue ada pmikiran ini gtu.
apalagi ya..
gue juga lepas g neko2.bhkn wktu gue make smpt lbih hina gtu. cuman yg lgi gue kejar skg soal agama adalah...
ngrutinin shalat,salat sunnah djalanin bbrpa,ngaji tiap abis magrib trs baru shalat yg tepat waktu sambil nyari2 haditz sputar jilbab dan wanita sholehah...mngkin klo ngbhas itu g ada habisnya kburu ajal ngejemput..
yyaa masih bebenah diri buat ntr make lagi insyallah jika hati sudah bnar2 dbuka dan insyaallah jika masih diberi umur. dan kalo wktu itu tiba,,oke gue bilang dsini,gue post dsni,
kalo wktu itu tiba dan gw dberi ksmptan sama Allah,,insyallah wktu itu adalh wktu dmna aku g bakal pernah nglepasin jilbab ddpan yg bkn mukhrim lgi.insyaallah...
Posted in 27.01.2015
gue lepas.gue make. gue g minta dikomentar how do i look! okay?!ada yg bilang gue cantik makeada yg bilang gue cantik kalo g make
you know what? i dont need those words! btw,kalo diinget2,,gue bhkan g prnah nanya ke siapa gtu bhkan tmn dkt gue sndiri buat nanyain'mnurut lo gue pantes make ato engga?'gtau ya,gue lupa mngkin.tp sejauuh dan seinget gue,,never gtu,bhkan jujur gue g suka kalo ada yg bilang gtu.kalo ditanya skg bnyakan mana yg bilang,,banyakan yg bilangg gue cantikan make gtu..BUT really,honestly, gue g butuuh ituu.dan gue uda cuukup pede kalo ngmongin soal muka gue.cantikan yg mana.gue pribadii,,yaaahh cantik dua2nya mskpun bnyak yg lbih cantik hahahaa.bodo amat.tp srius,cmn gini,ada kalanya gue jelek saat make,ada kalanya gue jelek saat g make, mnurut gue orang gtu wajar ya.dan buat perkuliahaan,,keanya gue lbih milih mnding terlihat jelek saat g make drpdasaat make. bkn brrti yg jelek pas make itu lebih buruk drpda yg jelek wktu g make.lagi2,,apa ya namanya,kalo dipost yg td gue bilang gengsi kali?jadi tu,klo gue make jilbab,,i dont know,gue slalu mrsa ingin dan harus cantik,versi guegitu :'Dntr pas buru2 kkampus g smppt bebenah,ato pulang larut malam,emgg sii g ada yg ngliatin --''keanya lbih gmpangan yg g make si,,menurutt guee ._.mending kalian komentarin baju gue spatu gue,,demii deh!! .__.
terus, ada tmn gue nebak gue lepas gegara cwo.omaigod. actually, gue gtau mau jelasinya drmna.entah dia iseng or what. i mean,,rasa2nya tuh kalian pengen bgt gue jawab alasan gue lepas tuh kea..''guee lepass karna gue ngrsaa gue lebih cantiik kalo lepas,,teruuss bisa dkt ama bulee deh.lumayaann kaan dpt kenalan cwo bule.mau ntr jadian ato engga.paling g ada Pdkt laah...''apaalagi??!
huh.emg dbilang make jilbab itu biisa lebih ngejagain elo. emg it really is what it said in Quran haditz gtu kan.tapi emg mata klian blm prnah liat? blm pernah dnger? cwe jilbaban bnyaaak skg yg luarnya doang!diindo si ,,bhkan klo boleh sombong,im way better than those yg abal jilbabanya.g deng manusia g ada yg boleh sombong.sombong hanya milik Allah semata :'' :( *istigfaar*dan gue ngrsa gue uda bisa ckup jaga diri. dan emg slama gue make jilbab, mngkin gue g sadar ato gmna,,tp gue keanya g prnah ada kjdian smcam 'gue terselamatkan krna gue make jilbab,alhmdulillah..' bkn brrti gue make jilbab trs g bersyukur kagaa. gue bersyukur gue g k tmpt2 kea gtu. dan smacemnya..cmn emg g prnah aja dan kbtulan tmn2 gue anaknya insyallah bener smua :)tpi baru kjdian si bbrpa bulan yg lalu,mngkin krna sblmnya gue g prnah skalipun ditawarin bir,dan dstu gue gagal bela diri.baru kjadian kmrn si huhu.. oke,itu gue crtain ntr,mngkin emg krna gue make jilbab jdi g ada yg ngajakin, tp hellooww,,emg g ad apa kmungkinan gue dihasuutt?? udah lepas ajaa skali ini,ayoo ke sanaa.. balbalaa..alhmdulillahnya si never in my life.ohh doch sekali seumur hidup.that was the first and i hope the last. yyaah gue beteman dg tmn2 yg yaahh gtu.g neko2,,
gue kuliah dikota gue yg skg jg slah satunya gue pribadi pngn ngekeep satu tmn yg bener.
alhmdulillah kalo dia make jilbab bahkan. namanya Rani. mskipun rani kompor gue kuliah dkota yg sama trs biar bisa ntr tinggaal bareng, gue sndiri jg pda dasarnya gue butuh dia nih.someone yg pasti bakal bisa ngingetin gue kejalan yg lbih baik lah intinya.jdi rasanya pnya anak rumah dia,,
yaaa gue bersyukur bgt.bukan kbtulan jg.tp emg dr awal gue ada pmikiran ini gtu.
apalagi ya..
gue juga lepas g neko2.bhkn wktu gue make smpt lbih hina gtu. cuman yg lgi gue kejar skg soal agama adalah...
ngrutinin shalat,salat sunnah djalanin bbrpa,ngaji tiap abis magrib trs baru shalat yg tepat waktu sambil nyari2 haditz sputar jilbab dan wanita sholehah...mngkin klo ngbhas itu g ada habisnya kburu ajal ngejemput..
yyaa masih bebenah diri buat ntr make lagi insyallah jika hati sudah bnar2 dbuka dan insyaallah jika masih diberi umur. dan kalo wktu itu tiba,,oke gue bilang dsini,gue post dsni,
kalo wktu itu tiba dan gw dberi ksmptan sama Allah,,insyallah wktu itu adalh wktu dmna aku g bakal pernah nglepasin jilbab ddpan yg bkn mukhrim lgi.insyaallah...
Posted in 27.01.2015
After June comes September #part4
jadi pmikiran gue saat itu adalah..
okay,bismillah gue lepas. insyallah gue bisa buktiin dan mmpertanggung jwabkan atas pilihan gue.
gue lepas.dan gue baakal dpt bnyak tmn.kuliah lancar daan seterusnyaaa..amiinsaat gue ragu buat mutusin gue lepas, ada tmn gue bilang..jadi diri lo sendiri meg, kalo lo pngn lepas,ya lepas.jngn hirauin apa kata orang.
itu berat buat gue.sebenernya.dua2nya berat.gue yg make uda lama. dan gue yg mngkin bisa dbilang g bsa cuek sama apa kata orang.dan rasanya bisa nglawan dua hal itu,buat sseorang kea gue..gue pribadi ngrsa gue bsa ngmbil tindakan yg bisa dbilang 'berani' mskipun dmata kalian itu buruk, itu buat gue,, gue berubah dalam hal mindset. i mean,sdkit lebih confident dlm mngmbil kptusan.dan buat gue,ngambil tindakan yg brani sprti ini.gue yakin bbrapa diantara kalian,,bakal lebih milih engga ketimbang ngadepin resiko2 yg bakal dihadepin,mskpun emg tryata emg itu yg terbaik gtu ya.buat kalian yg kea gue, mngkin bakal mlih buat stay.dan tetap dg pendirian semacem,,aku g ada alasan buat lepas.dan dibatin kalian,,kalian g akan bisa ngebayangin tekanan batin kalian ntr. so you choose not to change.dsaat itu yg paling gue tekanin adalah,, ''jadi diri sndiri''okay.ada hasrat ingin lepas,dan kalo aku g lepas,slama aku make jilbab wktu kuliah ntr..gue ngrsa im not being me. dan rasanya g bgt.gue make jilbab tp g ngrsa make.karna dihati gue kan pengen lepas gt,which means, gue ttp make cuman gr2 apa kata orang? engga.ini g bener.lepas.adalah dmna gue jadi diri sndiri. fix.wktu prtama gnti dp di fb yg g make,,tetibalah sodara gue komen,,intinya,,''be yourself waelah!''shittt apaan deh ni sodara gue,gue uda jdi diri gue sndiri skg,gue skg emg pngn lepas.and thats being myself!tp g gue bales komenya :'ampe bbrpa bulan stlahnya..entah gr2 apa,,i was like 'am i really being myself?'bentar.apa sih definisinya? gue lepas krna bbrpa alasan.dan jelas dr awal gue tekadnya g bner2 lepas selamanya. yang artinya..gue lepas buat smntara waktu buat entar balik ke gue dulu,,yang artinya..sekarang gue lepas..isnt being me,,but someday,,i will be 'myself' again.. rite?trs skg what am i doing?i guess,,im tryin to fit in :'and say again guys,, CUMAN GARA2 ITU? <-- keanya judulnya patesan ini ya :(
Posted in 27.01.2015
okay,bismillah gue lepas. insyallah gue bisa buktiin dan mmpertanggung jwabkan atas pilihan gue.
gue lepas.dan gue baakal dpt bnyak tmn.kuliah lancar daan seterusnyaaa..amiinsaat gue ragu buat mutusin gue lepas, ada tmn gue bilang..jadi diri lo sendiri meg, kalo lo pngn lepas,ya lepas.jngn hirauin apa kata orang.
itu berat buat gue.sebenernya.dua2nya berat.gue yg make uda lama. dan gue yg mngkin bisa dbilang g bsa cuek sama apa kata orang.dan rasanya bisa nglawan dua hal itu,buat sseorang kea gue..gue pribadi ngrsa gue bsa ngmbil tindakan yg bisa dbilang 'berani' mskipun dmata kalian itu buruk, itu buat gue,, gue berubah dalam hal mindset. i mean,sdkit lebih confident dlm mngmbil kptusan.dan buat gue,ngambil tindakan yg brani sprti ini.gue yakin bbrapa diantara kalian,,bakal lebih milih engga ketimbang ngadepin resiko2 yg bakal dihadepin,mskpun emg tryata emg itu yg terbaik gtu ya.buat kalian yg kea gue, mngkin bakal mlih buat stay.dan tetap dg pendirian semacem,,aku g ada alasan buat lepas.dan dibatin kalian,,kalian g akan bisa ngebayangin tekanan batin kalian ntr. so you choose not to change.dsaat itu yg paling gue tekanin adalah,, ''jadi diri sndiri''okay.ada hasrat ingin lepas,dan kalo aku g lepas,slama aku make jilbab wktu kuliah ntr..gue ngrsa im not being me. dan rasanya g bgt.gue make jilbab tp g ngrsa make.karna dihati gue kan pengen lepas gt,which means, gue ttp make cuman gr2 apa kata orang? engga.ini g bener.lepas.adalah dmna gue jadi diri sndiri. fix.wktu prtama gnti dp di fb yg g make,,tetibalah sodara gue komen,,intinya,,''be yourself waelah!''shittt apaan deh ni sodara gue,gue uda jdi diri gue sndiri skg,gue skg emg pngn lepas.and thats being myself!tp g gue bales komenya :'ampe bbrpa bulan stlahnya..entah gr2 apa,,i was like 'am i really being myself?'bentar.apa sih definisinya? gue lepas krna bbrpa alasan.dan jelas dr awal gue tekadnya g bner2 lepas selamanya. yang artinya..gue lepas buat smntara waktu buat entar balik ke gue dulu,,yang artinya..sekarang gue lepas..isnt being me,,but someday,,i will be 'myself' again.. rite?trs skg what am i doing?i guess,,im tryin to fit in :'and say again guys,, CUMAN GARA2 ITU? <-- keanya judulnya patesan ini ya :(
Posted in 27.01.2015
After June comes September #part3
okay so this whole 'parts' is about my hijab. i havent told any about how was my first day on my university and alot.
okay so come up with an idea 'i'd rather take off my hijab' gue pikir itu solusi terbaik.btw, i havent told my reason yet rite? alasanya at that time was,,im feeling that,,i wana take this thing off. whats wrong with that? i was imagining things would be better in university if i take that off. i dont feel confident,..when my surroundings are all different from me, and i guess i shud adapt..i think this was the very good choice.i mean,,well i dont feel under presure waktu dulu studkol, like i was the only one in class who wore the hijab and not a big deal at all.sama skali g ngrasa kebebani.mngkin dstu,,gue bru ngrasa,,gue ada tmn kelas 1 yg slalu breng gue. dan...yang lainyya onta and i dont really talk to them and so do them.. back then..wow,gue ansos juga ya..tp speaking of ansos,,gue ngrasa,,keanya cmn diprivate aja si..mksut gue,,most of em are onta and they've known each other aand speak the same language,,i mean..mreka uda kbentuk sblm ada gue gtu. gue ngrsa itu g sama klo di studkol staatlich keanya.like they all new students and campur bhkan ontanya 1 2 mngkin.i dont know..im saying this bcz thats what i saw from my friends who studied in staatliches studkol. dan lbih dri stngah kelas gue cwo smua but back again,,that doesnt bother me at all. sma skali g ganggu gue sma skli.kenyataan bhwa gue dstu ansos,,well im not really actually lol. mungkin bolehlah ya klian bilang kgue,,yaa lo lah meee yang dateng k ontanya blabalaa kan elo yg butuh blalaa..wait..gue emg g sdeket sesama tmn onta.mreka trlalu brisik, tp at least mreka tau gue,dan yaa gue tau some of them lah.stdaknyaa wktu abis ulangan bhsa inggris, ada onta nyamperin, nylamatin gue gt gr2 nilai gw trtinggi.wktu itu gue blm liat nlai gue dan emg bner gtu. i mean,,yauda dikelas doang. dan tp trserah klian klo mo ngecap gue gmna.gue g tmnan jg sama tmn onta di fb.cmn satu doang cwe itupun gr2 mau ujian. dan ada bbrpa kjdian kecil lainyalhah.tp emg im not that 'hello aall' person.as long as gue dikelas ngerti pelajarannya on my own way, and at least ada tmn gue satu cwe yg yeaaa lets say shes my only 'indo girl' friend at that time yg bisa diajak ngbrol,,it s fine.gue g mikir banyak.biasa aja.tp bkn brrti jg gue ketergantungan sama tmn gue indo itu,, emg si wktu awal2 gue masuk situ,masih pertaama2,,,kita brngkt like almost everyday kita bareng wkwk!! tp seiring brjalannya waktu,, brngkt sndiiri2.kea yauda ktmu dikelas aja gtu.tp smnjak,,mulaii..saat mnjajaki dunia the real perkuliahan..gue ngbayangin hal2 taulah..wktu gue nyri2 uni,,you know the banner thing from the website..gue ngrsa klo gue lepas,,gue bisa lebih pd.bisa lebih bergerak.bisa lebih ngungkapin what i wana say. dan terlebih lagi jurusan gue.doch,bnyak anak indo jg yg kuliah make gtu. i mean,,wait.bnyak yg anak2 kdokterann makee,,wajaar..mkksut gue hal lumrah..i mean gue sring liat dan biasa aja.gue? jrusan gue? gue blm nemu. dan emg jarang bukan di dunia permediaan sendiri?,,coba..tp sblm jauh mikir ttng dunia pekerjaan media thing..gue ngbayangin saat lgi dikelas wktu pelajaran kuliah misal.. wktu lgi praktek misal,ddpn komputer,trs dosenya dtng nyamperin ngajarin..gue ngrsa g enak aja gue yg make jilbab.. oke gue lebay.i mean.g smua orng tau hrus mmperlakukan wnita berjillbab sprti apa gt.mngkin aku hrus ngasih tau kali? hmm... .___.mungkin rasanya hina kalimat brusan ada diotak gue yang drumah aja g make jilbab pdhal srumah ama tmn kakak cwo. abis mreka uda kea kakaak sndiriiii siii*tapi tetepp aja yaa g bole harusnya* :'D dan mager jg si masa kdapur make,tiap kmna make.. belum trbiasa hayati drumah sndiri hrus begitu :''daaaan..gue ada pmikiran,,kinda like this,, gue g pintar2 amat. deutsch gue biasa aja. masuk jurusan ini,, smuanya baruu.apa yang aku uda mahir? g ada.tmn2 masuk jurusan gue,,jelas bbrpa uda ausbildung. ada jg kok yg baru lulus abitur,,tapi stdaknya mreka deutscher,,daaaan jadinya,, gue tu merasa,,rasanya bodoh aja make jilbab but g pinter.deutsch pas2an. gue lbih milih yg g jlbaban yg g ngrti apa2.. oke mungkin ini pmikiran yg salah nan bodoh.salaaaah me! krna kamu g tau apa2.karna kamu lack of many things like youve said, but at least,, kamu masih MAAKKEE! thats a point me! oke fine.gue trlalu mikir ssuatu yg smpurna jika orng memakai jilbab.tp bkn brrti gue kmrn make jilbab and i feel perfect enggga juga..rasanya make jilbab trs g bsa ngapa2in tu kea mmbawa nama agamaku mnjadi buruk.apalagi mmbawanya dilingkup yg minor akan agama gue. mngkin gengsi kali.aahh dihipnotis dong aku plis!daaan laagii.. about friends. bersosialisasi. jelas berteman itu tgt emg dri pribadi seseorang. soal ini, back sprti yg tdi gue uda bilang, gue ngrasa gue bkal lbih brani to at least 'say hi' dluan kmreka.kalo gue lepas..dan gue smpt ada pmkiran yg..gmna ya,,intinya,,trnyata wktu gue uda msuk kuliah..ad kn tmn yg make jilbab orang turki satu.dr sgala prgaulan yg gue liat dikelas gue.i feel like, actually,g sprti yg aku byangkan.like mreka bergaul bebas gue g ngliat perasisan gtu.cmn emg si orng turki ini yg emg suka duduk sndiri aja. .__.
sputar itu si bbrpa alasan gue yang i came up with this idea,yaaang mungkin stlah klian tau ini youre gonna be like'cuman gr2 ini doang??' ,btw that words reminds me of someone --'' and i was actually really wana answer ' iyyaaa puas lo nanya udahan? udah gtu doang' ._. but i gota hold back :')
Posted in 27.01.2015
okay so come up with an idea 'i'd rather take off my hijab' gue pikir itu solusi terbaik.btw, i havent told my reason yet rite? alasanya at that time was,,im feeling that,,i wana take this thing off. whats wrong with that? i was imagining things would be better in university if i take that off. i dont feel confident,..when my surroundings are all different from me, and i guess i shud adapt..i think this was the very good choice.i mean,,well i dont feel under presure waktu dulu studkol, like i was the only one in class who wore the hijab and not a big deal at all.sama skali g ngrasa kebebani.mngkin dstu,,gue bru ngrasa,,gue ada tmn kelas 1 yg slalu breng gue. dan...yang lainyya onta and i dont really talk to them and so do them.. back then..wow,gue ansos juga ya..tp speaking of ansos,,gue ngrasa,,keanya cmn diprivate aja si..mksut gue,,most of em are onta and they've known each other aand speak the same language,,i mean..mreka uda kbentuk sblm ada gue gtu. gue ngrsa itu g sama klo di studkol staatlich keanya.like they all new students and campur bhkan ontanya 1 2 mngkin.i dont know..im saying this bcz thats what i saw from my friends who studied in staatliches studkol. dan lbih dri stngah kelas gue cwo smua but back again,,that doesnt bother me at all. sma skali g ganggu gue sma skli.kenyataan bhwa gue dstu ansos,,well im not really actually lol. mungkin bolehlah ya klian bilang kgue,,yaa lo lah meee yang dateng k ontanya blabalaa kan elo yg butuh blalaa..wait..gue emg g sdeket sesama tmn onta.mreka trlalu brisik, tp at least mreka tau gue,dan yaa gue tau some of them lah.stdaknyaa wktu abis ulangan bhsa inggris, ada onta nyamperin, nylamatin gue gt gr2 nilai gw trtinggi.wktu itu gue blm liat nlai gue dan emg bner gtu. i mean,,yauda dikelas doang. dan tp trserah klian klo mo ngecap gue gmna.gue g tmnan jg sama tmn onta di fb.cmn satu doang cwe itupun gr2 mau ujian. dan ada bbrpa kjdian kecil lainyalhah.tp emg im not that 'hello aall' person.as long as gue dikelas ngerti pelajarannya on my own way, and at least ada tmn gue satu cwe yg yeaaa lets say shes my only 'indo girl' friend at that time yg bisa diajak ngbrol,,it s fine.gue g mikir banyak.biasa aja.tp bkn brrti jg gue ketergantungan sama tmn gue indo itu,, emg si wktu awal2 gue masuk situ,masih pertaama2,,,kita brngkt like almost everyday kita bareng wkwk!! tp seiring brjalannya waktu,, brngkt sndiiri2.kea yauda ktmu dikelas aja gtu.tp smnjak,,mulaii..saat mnjajaki dunia the real perkuliahan..gue ngbayangin hal2 taulah..wktu gue nyri2 uni,,you know the banner thing from the website..gue ngrsa klo gue lepas,,gue bisa lebih pd.bisa lebih bergerak.bisa lebih ngungkapin what i wana say. dan terlebih lagi jurusan gue.doch,bnyak anak indo jg yg kuliah make gtu. i mean,,wait.bnyak yg anak2 kdokterann makee,,wajaar..mkksut gue hal lumrah..i mean gue sring liat dan biasa aja.gue? jrusan gue? gue blm nemu. dan emg jarang bukan di dunia permediaan sendiri?,,coba..tp sblm jauh mikir ttng dunia pekerjaan media thing..gue ngbayangin saat lgi dikelas wktu pelajaran kuliah misal.. wktu lgi praktek misal,ddpn komputer,trs dosenya dtng nyamperin ngajarin..gue ngrsa g enak aja gue yg make jilbab.. oke gue lebay.i mean.g smua orng tau hrus mmperlakukan wnita berjillbab sprti apa gt.mngkin aku hrus ngasih tau kali? hmm... .___.mungkin rasanya hina kalimat brusan ada diotak gue yang drumah aja g make jilbab pdhal srumah ama tmn kakak cwo. abis mreka uda kea kakaak sndiriiii siii*tapi tetepp aja yaa g bole harusnya* :'D dan mager jg si masa kdapur make,tiap kmna make.. belum trbiasa hayati drumah sndiri hrus begitu :''daaaan..gue ada pmikiran,,kinda like this,, gue g pintar2 amat. deutsch gue biasa aja. masuk jurusan ini,, smuanya baruu.apa yang aku uda mahir? g ada.tmn2 masuk jurusan gue,,jelas bbrpa uda ausbildung. ada jg kok yg baru lulus abitur,,tapi stdaknya mreka deutscher,,daaaan jadinya,, gue tu merasa,,rasanya bodoh aja make jilbab but g pinter.deutsch pas2an. gue lbih milih yg g jlbaban yg g ngrti apa2.. oke mungkin ini pmikiran yg salah nan bodoh.salaaaah me! krna kamu g tau apa2.karna kamu lack of many things like youve said, but at least,, kamu masih MAAKKEE! thats a point me! oke fine.gue trlalu mikir ssuatu yg smpurna jika orng memakai jilbab.tp bkn brrti gue kmrn make jilbab and i feel perfect enggga juga..rasanya make jilbab trs g bsa ngapa2in tu kea mmbawa nama agamaku mnjadi buruk.apalagi mmbawanya dilingkup yg minor akan agama gue. mngkin gengsi kali.aahh dihipnotis dong aku plis!daaan laagii.. about friends. bersosialisasi. jelas berteman itu tgt emg dri pribadi seseorang. soal ini, back sprti yg tdi gue uda bilang, gue ngrasa gue bkal lbih brani to at least 'say hi' dluan kmreka.kalo gue lepas..dan gue smpt ada pmkiran yg..gmna ya,,intinya,,trnyata wktu gue uda msuk kuliah..ad kn tmn yg make jilbab orang turki satu.dr sgala prgaulan yg gue liat dikelas gue.i feel like, actually,g sprti yg aku byangkan.like mreka bergaul bebas gue g ngliat perasisan gtu.cmn emg si orng turki ini yg emg suka duduk sndiri aja. .__.
sputar itu si bbrpa alasan gue yang i came up with this idea,yaaang mungkin stlah klian tau ini youre gonna be like'cuman gr2 ini doang??' ,btw that words reminds me of someone --'' and i was actually really wana answer ' iyyaaa puas lo nanya udahan? udah gtu doang' ._. but i gota hold back :')
Posted in 27.01.2015
After June comes September #part2
jadi,,,wktu gue balik ke indo,,gue yang,,masih sdkit agak ragu to take this desicion..
waktu diindo,,i got something that i never knew bfore,,trnyata,,mungkin ini g brlaku untuk kebanyakan mahasiswi indo,,but this is what happends to my closest friend..dia make jilbab kekampusnya,,just bcz most of em are wearin the hijab,,and i was like Omgggg,,it really is the opposite from here,i mean,,of course the majority here,,they dont wear the hijab,and bcz of that also i take it off.ternyata,,tmn gue cuman make kalo dikampus,selebihnya lepas,,,gue g nyalahin dia..i mean its her choice,,mngkin emg sharusnya tugas temen buat ngingetin satu sama lain blablaa,,tp kita jg g boleh lupa buat support satu sama lain,, 3shabat gue mulai mengerti gue,trmasuk inas,,waktu ktemu sama mntan wali kelas abis lebarann,,gue dipesenin sama beliau,,''mskipun mega menimba ilmu ditempat yg jauh,dnegara yg minoritas akan agamamu,,kamu g boleh lupa sama yg diatas..tetep drutinkan shalatnya..'' segala macem,,saat itu gue ngebatin,,bu,,maafin mega kalo emg mega hrus ngambil kputusan yg bkal bkin ibu kaget,,,sahabat gue yg lain,,gue crtain wktu emg kita uda bner2 hrus pisah,,dan yg satu lagi,,dia g nanya,gue jg g crita..tp g ada mksut buat nutupin ini sama dia,,cmn dia mngrti,,tanpa harus bertanya,,dia ttp nrima gue,,:')
smnggu sblm balik ke jerman,,bokap pulang..emg jatahnya liburan :) disitu,,3hari sblm gue balik kjerman gue 2 hari ijin kmalang buat liburan sama tmn2 dkt gue,,sblm brngkt,,abis subuhan..nyokap bokap lgi druang tamu,,gue siap2 mau brgkt,,gue gtau kalo nyokap bakal ngmongin ini.mski gue tau gue emg blm smpet ngebahas ini sama bokap.dan nyokap tau gue emg g brani..:(jadilah,,saat itu,,mamah bilang kpapah,,krng lebih sprti ini..''pah,,anakmu ini,,djursan ini,,dia ngrsa g pd kalo dia make,,dia pngn nglepas..."gue kaget mmah ngbahas ini adu gue blm siappp...trs sama papah djwb,,gue g nyangka ppah bkal jwb dg jwaban smcam ini..yg gue bilang,,bijak..''yaaa slama s1 kann,,,yg pnting kamu jdi orng yg baik,,"dsitu bokap mmprioritaskan hal lain ketimbang jilbab.gue ngerti gue tau...:(tp at least gue uda dpt ijin..slama berangkat naik kreta sama shabat2 gue,,gue crita kabar bhagia ini...oke mngkin bkn kbar bhagia :|akirnya mamah papah ngrestuin mega..krna diawal juga gue uda bilang sama diri gue sndiri..sekekeh kekehnya mega bkin kputusan.mega bakal ttp minta ijin ortu.kalo emg ortu g ngijinin.insyaallah emg itu yg trbaik dan harus legowo.tp kalo ortu ngijinin,,lo hrus tutup telinga and look straaaiiighttt forwaardd!!! bismillah..
setibanya gue djerman..
gue uda mantepin hati buat lepas,,gue uda masang foto semestertiket kuliah gue dg foto g make jlbab mskipun emg minggu2 gue awal dkota lama gue,,gue emg masi make jilbab,,jujur,,gue sampe skg blm brani buat ke leipzig(kota lama gue) buat jalan dsana g make jilbab.pdhal d fb gue uda masang g make ..oke back,,,tibalah trend #20factsaboutme di instagram,,dsitu for the first time gue ngpload foto gue yg g make jilbab,sndiri yah macem close up sambil selfie,,g lama kmudian,,shabat mts gue ngchat gue dbbm,,dia slah satu tmn gue yg smpt emg gue pngn minta pndapatnya.but i cant reach her,,gue masi ingt wktu itu gue chat dia tp silang chatnya,dan smnjak itu gue klupaan..ampe dia sndiri yg mnanyakan,,''megaaaa kamu ga...''mmm,,, :( dstu gue nangis..gue merasa trpojokan,mski dia tau celotehan apapun yg dia lontarkan g akan ngrubah apapun.g akan ngebalikin waktu.bagian yg bner2 kenak digue itu waktu..dsitu gue bilang,,emg kputusan ini jelass kputsan yg salaahh.g sharusnyaa gue lepaas. biarin gue nyesel sama at least sama kputusan yg gue buat sendiri.gue bakal buktiin,gue harus buktiin gue bisa.dg gue lepas,ada hal postive dluar sana yg bisa bkin gue sukses syif..terus,,syifa bales chat.. '' apa saat itu kamu yakin masih ada?" dstu gue langsung *deggg*tapi campur bingung,,maksut elo syif... ''apa kamu yakin masih ada hidup saat itu tiba?''okay fine.ajal g ada yg tau.:'(((( iyah,,dia cmn brharap smoga aku ttp sllu dlm lindunganNya,,
dan skg pun,,sambil sadar,,hahaha menyedihkan..kapan me make lagi?
Posted in 20.12.2014
waktu diindo,,i got something that i never knew bfore,,trnyata,,mungkin ini g brlaku untuk kebanyakan mahasiswi indo,,but this is what happends to my closest friend..dia make jilbab kekampusnya,,just bcz most of em are wearin the hijab,,and i was like Omgggg,,it really is the opposite from here,i mean,,of course the majority here,,they dont wear the hijab,and bcz of that also i take it off.ternyata,,tmn gue cuman make kalo dikampus,selebihnya lepas,,,gue g nyalahin dia..i mean its her choice,,mngkin emg sharusnya tugas temen buat ngingetin satu sama lain blablaa,,tp kita jg g boleh lupa buat support satu sama lain,, 3shabat gue mulai mengerti gue,trmasuk inas,,waktu ktemu sama mntan wali kelas abis lebarann,,gue dipesenin sama beliau,,''mskipun mega menimba ilmu ditempat yg jauh,dnegara yg minoritas akan agamamu,,kamu g boleh lupa sama yg diatas..tetep drutinkan shalatnya..'' segala macem,,saat itu gue ngebatin,,bu,,maafin mega kalo emg mega hrus ngambil kputusan yg bkal bkin ibu kaget,,,sahabat gue yg lain,,gue crtain wktu emg kita uda bner2 hrus pisah,,dan yg satu lagi,,dia g nanya,gue jg g crita..tp g ada mksut buat nutupin ini sama dia,,cmn dia mngrti,,tanpa harus bertanya,,dia ttp nrima gue,,:')
smnggu sblm balik ke jerman,,bokap pulang..emg jatahnya liburan :) disitu,,3hari sblm gue balik kjerman gue 2 hari ijin kmalang buat liburan sama tmn2 dkt gue,,sblm brngkt,,abis subuhan..nyokap bokap lgi druang tamu,,gue siap2 mau brgkt,,gue gtau kalo nyokap bakal ngmongin ini.mski gue tau gue emg blm smpet ngebahas ini sama bokap.dan nyokap tau gue emg g brani..:(jadilah,,saat itu,,mamah bilang kpapah,,krng lebih sprti ini..''pah,,anakmu ini,,djursan ini,,dia ngrsa g pd kalo dia make,,dia pngn nglepas..."gue kaget mmah ngbahas ini adu gue blm siappp...trs sama papah djwb,,gue g nyangka ppah bkal jwb dg jwaban smcam ini..yg gue bilang,,bijak..''yaaa slama s1 kann,,,yg pnting kamu jdi orng yg baik,,"dsitu bokap mmprioritaskan hal lain ketimbang jilbab.gue ngerti gue tau...:(tp at least gue uda dpt ijin..slama berangkat naik kreta sama shabat2 gue,,gue crita kabar bhagia ini...oke mngkin bkn kbar bhagia :|akirnya mamah papah ngrestuin mega..krna diawal juga gue uda bilang sama diri gue sndiri..sekekeh kekehnya mega bkin kputusan.mega bakal ttp minta ijin ortu.kalo emg ortu g ngijinin.insyaallah emg itu yg trbaik dan harus legowo.tp kalo ortu ngijinin,,lo hrus tutup telinga and look straaaiiighttt forwaardd!!! bismillah..
setibanya gue djerman..
gue uda mantepin hati buat lepas,,gue uda masang foto semestertiket kuliah gue dg foto g make jlbab mskipun emg minggu2 gue awal dkota lama gue,,gue emg masi make jilbab,,jujur,,gue sampe skg blm brani buat ke leipzig(kota lama gue) buat jalan dsana g make jilbab.pdhal d fb gue uda masang g make ..oke back,,,tibalah trend #20factsaboutme di instagram,,dsitu for the first time gue ngpload foto gue yg g make jilbab,sndiri yah macem close up sambil selfie,,g lama kmudian,,shabat mts gue ngchat gue dbbm,,dia slah satu tmn gue yg smpt emg gue pngn minta pndapatnya.but i cant reach her,,gue masi ingt wktu itu gue chat dia tp silang chatnya,dan smnjak itu gue klupaan..ampe dia sndiri yg mnanyakan,,''megaaaa kamu ga...''mmm,,, :( dstu gue nangis..gue merasa trpojokan,mski dia tau celotehan apapun yg dia lontarkan g akan ngrubah apapun.g akan ngebalikin waktu.bagian yg bner2 kenak digue itu waktu..dsitu gue bilang,,emg kputusan ini jelass kputsan yg salaahh.g sharusnyaa gue lepaas. biarin gue nyesel sama at least sama kputusan yg gue buat sendiri.gue bakal buktiin,gue harus buktiin gue bisa.dg gue lepas,ada hal postive dluar sana yg bisa bkin gue sukses syif..terus,,syifa bales chat.. '' apa saat itu kamu yakin masih ada?" dstu gue langsung *deggg*tapi campur bingung,,maksut elo syif... ''apa kamu yakin masih ada hidup saat itu tiba?''okay fine.ajal g ada yg tau.:'(((( iyah,,dia cmn brharap smoga aku ttp sllu dlm lindunganNya,,
dan skg pun,,sambil sadar,,hahaha menyedihkan..kapan me make lagi?
Posted in 20.12.2014
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)